A Little Crowded Mind

Firstly, I love the title and, for the most part, the word choice. The word order, however, stumbles in some places and some of the punctuation causes the poem to screech to a halt. Putting on my pointy hat of pretentiousness I would suggest the following re-structure: -------------------------- Sweet smell of orchids, echoes off tall pines. In a forest in the distance, of a little crowded mind. Walked along moss covered paths, thoughts jumbled like the noises of this mysteriously wonderful place. [Coarse] smell of fish, a pond lies in the middle, of a vast meadow in the distance, of a little crowded mind. -------------------------- I corrected words where I thought they needed correcting and broke out the 2nd stanza into a more natural flow. All in all though a good and vivid write --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)