Embryonic Awakening

Last vestiges of sanityFall apartThe lantern of innocenceSpreads its luminescenceRevealingA blighted landscape In a state of rejuvenationFresh green saplingsBlanketed by fogPush upwards towards the sunIn a sea of warmth

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Ink Dragon

17 years 4 months ago

Leonard,

I can feel spring stirring... Thank you for this warm little poem in a cold time, ID

leonard daranjo

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Ink

For stopping by. Cheers ... Leonard

themoonman

17 years 4 months ago

Leonard...

in a state of rejuvenation... a wonderful line... great images of fresh sprouts awakening... I like the way you've placed the sentencing... the only thing I could possibly critique would be the use of caps at the beginning of each line... as I believe only some needed them... actually in my old guy's eye... "Last" and then... "The lantern" and then "Fresh" You might could even leave a space between these thoughts to allow your reader to "take it in" just suggestions... the flow of the poem is very good already... appreciate your posting this eloquent piece... Richard

leonard daranjo

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Richard

for commenting and your suggestions. I shall incorporate the changes. Cheers ... Leonard

Janice Pearce

17 years 4 months ago

Awakening

Leonard, A very in-depth poem here. I truly felt this happening before my eyes! _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

leonard daranjo

17 years 4 months ago

Thank you Janice

Always a pleasure hearing from you. If you touch even one person, you have not written in vain. Cheers ... Leonard