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shazbat
shazbat
Dec 26, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Single bed

When a lady reaches this time in her life

Hot flushes and sweats are giving her strife

Flesh against flesh sends temperature soaring

Kept wide awake with her old partners snoring

She suddenly says “I don’t want any trouble

We’re buying a new bed, it won’t be a double

I know you don’t like it and you don’t think its right

But I need to get some sleep every night

Your tossing and turning and thrashing about

Keeps me awake when the lights are turned out

Now don’t you take umbrage, I love you to bits

But the way that you sleep, really gets on my tits

There now, I’ve said it, and now that its said

We’re going out shopping, for a new single bed”

— shazbat, Dec 26, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Norfolk, UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Kipling, T.S Eliot, Hilaire Belloc, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan and many more.

More from this author

Critiques

Robert Melliard

Robert Melliard

17 years 5 months ago

Hi John

This is hilarious and very true. My wife and I decided to buy twin beds years ago, but at least they are placed right next to each other, with a king-size duvet covering the pair of us, so she can't totally ignore me even though I try not 'get on her tits', as you colourfully put it, by snoring too loudly. This poem may not be suitable for children, by the way, though many of your others are. I need your help. I seem to have been put into Coventry by other Neopoet poets. No one is commenting on my poems any more. What have I done wrong? Just because my latest poem contains a slightly disparaging reference to pizzas, kebabs, hamburgers and hot-dogs, I don't think I should be ostracised by the rest of the world! As you are a Brit, please read and comment on my poem about traditional British food. It's called 'Mum's cooking'. Best Wishes for a Merry Recovery From Christmas, Robert.
Robert Melliard

Robert Melliard

17 years 5 months ago

Hi John

I hope you haven't been searching all over the blog for a poem called 'Mum's cooking' because I have changed the name to 'Ghastly British Food'. But I would still love to hear thoughts or memories which may be sparked off for you by this poem. Tatty-bye, Robert.
L

Lonnie

17 years 5 months ago

Another Shazbat Special!

Always you leave me looking forward to your next poem after I have just read your latest! Guess I must be becoming a fan! Kudos on another great write!