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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Dec 22, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lost and Alone

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Standing on the shore
Ocean’s winds
Burn like fire
On winter’s beach

Laughter has flown
Kicking pebbles
In the sand
Frozen toes go unnoticed
As sadness sets anchor

No more warm fuzzy smiles
Nor butterfly tummy flutters
Silly squeals
Running like the wind
Into your loving arms

Beautiful day of fishing
The waters turned deadly
Under dark clouds
Sudden winds stole your life
Now I stand lost, alone









— Barbara Writes, Dec 22, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 5 months ago

Barbara

every word vibrant with grief... I do not know what else I could possibly say... Ink
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Ink

Thanks for commenting. in writing this yesterday i was feeling kinda of down so i started writing about the beach. I made it up as i went, then i remembered my husband favorite cousin died about four years ago thus the last two lines. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Robert Melliard

Robert Melliard

17 years 5 months ago

Hi Barbara

This is beautifully clear, simple and moving. I hope the loss mentioned at the end is not a real experience of yours. If it is, you have all my sympathy. Best Wishes, Robert.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Robert

Thanks i appreciate your comment much, it did not happen to me, but it did to my husband favorite cousin about four years ago. He died doing what he loved fishing. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
W

Wafi

17 years 5 months ago

Barbara

A well written sad note. Wafi
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Wafi

Thanks for the kind comment. i appreciate it much Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Rett

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Almost brought me to tears

Grief surging through it like storm lashed waves upon the helpless shore. Your poetry seems to always bring out a longing in me for what I cannot touch. Beautiful, poignant write my friend. Respectfully, Rett: "Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit.." (Sitting Bull)
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 5 months ago

At risk ...

of giving offense, may I offer a bit of streamlining? I comment about the way of the write, not the content. Lost, alone Standing on the shore Ocean's winds Burn like fire On winter's beach Laughter's flown Kicking pebbles In the sand Frozen toes go unnoticed As sadness sets anchor No more warm fuzzy smiles Nor butterfly tummy flutters Silly squeals Running like the wind Into your loving arms Beautiful day for fishing The waters turned deadly Under dark clouds Transient winds stole your life Now I stand lost, alone I notice you've included no punct in your piece. Which is fine, by the way. I've included, however, in my suggested version a couple of commas ... and apostrophes. For your consideration. Thanx, Chuck
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Chuck

Glad to hear from you and I am not offended. Though sometimes I am, but you suggestion is so great. I was trying out this way of writing because i see so many good poems written this way. Your version is awesome and I just love it. I will copy and paste and add to my other poems to study and learn from your suggestion. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Chuck

Thanks again, I made some changes to your suggestions though some are the same because whenever my heart tugs at a certain change I leave it because it must continue to express what I felt when I wrote it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 5 months ago

Just so you know ...

being at the library (and using a computer of theirs), I have access to much in the way of references. Besides various thesauruses (thesauri?), I often rely on a 1361-page volume titled The Synonym Finder. Once I've roughed out a piece, I comb through what I've written to search out words I'd like to check out via reference. Sometimes I even go so far as to sleuth words that I'm satisfied with ... and don't expect to change/alter to accommodate the final write---but then ... surprise! ... I spot the perfect alternative. And then, of course, I'm most happy to make the change. All this prior to posting. Like searching for gold---and finding platinum. Makes it all more fun. And, a side effect: I educate myself further. Yours, Chuck
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

beautifully written Barbara

here that last line of each stanza adds the oomph I was referring to in your previous poem. Art reflects life or viceversa? However you came about it you got it right. cheers, Jess
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thanks, glad I got this one right. I will use it to fine tune my previous poem. I have made some changes to it but is still working on it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara