Barbara Writes

Dec 20, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

She Fights For Love

He refused to see who she was
To know what she was about
Believed she was just like the others
He met in the clubs

He could not see her valuable gems
Or find her heart of gold
She sowed her love on his thorny heart
While he rejected her

He denied the truth believed the lies
Insisted that freakiness was her game
He drew her in with phony concerns
And dropped the bomb when she smiled

She took a chance on his love
Just like before, it was a gamble
She lost who she was in his amuse
And love in his splendor

He hated to show his wicked facade
Cause others would know his sinful sham
Moreover, would see the twin of Satan
Hidden behind his amiable face

— Barbara Writes, Dec 20, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

W.C.Wampler

17 years 5 months ago

...fights for...?

Barb., You've written better poems,so this must be personal. Therefor my silly advice, even though I don't know either of you, or the real story. Don't fight for this one. Love may not be eternal bliss, but it reads like this fella should move on. I always say, 'be kind, be generous, have goodness'. So be it. wcw

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

WCW

You’ve written better poems; mmmm what does better means. Thanks for the comment. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Ink Dragon

17 years 5 months ago

Barbara

I have seen it happen, and one or two times have experienced it myself, so I daresay you have captured it very well. Thank you for sharing this one, which I will surely return to. Regards, ID

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

ID

Thanks for the comment. I wondered if the theme came across well in this one. Glad it did. I wasn Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Barbara my friend

This one showed the other side. The side of love that people don't want to see. Seems a lot of people show one face to make the play only to show the other face later on. I liked it, especially the thorny heart. Respectfully, Rett: "Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit.." (Sitting Bull)

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Rett

Thanks I am glad you like it and even more so that you commented. You are dead on the the meaning. I wrote this after an argument. One statement and i starting venting in poetry lol. I just wrote what i was feeling at the time real or imagine. I do agree some people are like. have meet a few. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Spotlight

Nice surprise. Thanks for commenting and voting everybody. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Robert Melliard

17 years 5 months ago

Sorry

Sorry, but I found this one obscure. Please comment on my Ghastly British Food poem if you have a minute. By the way, I'm British. Best Wishes, Robert.

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Sorry

Sorry you find it obscure. thanks for reading anyway. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

there must be a special place in hell,

for those who toy with others affections. A good portrait of such a sociopath. You lost me a bit in the 4th stanza. She rolled the dice knowing better Lose herself in his amuse Behind the clouds that blinded her He lost her love in the splendor I'm not clear whether she decides to toy with in him return "She rolled the dice knowing better" then "Lose(lost?) herself in his amuse" She lost herself, or she got lost to him in his amusement? If she was blinded by clouds, how did he lose her love? What splendor? See my problems here? Overall a good write, could be great with a bit more clarity. cheers, Jess

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

looking again,

see how well that first stanza works with the short last line? Consider using that as a structural device throughout an entire poem. It works well for you. cheers, Jess

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thanks for the help. I made some changes. Did this make the meaning any clearer this time. I realize what is clear to me can be too vague to others. Please let me know If it needs more worked. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

yes, I like this better

its always a struggle, what is clear to our minds eye is not necessarily apparent to others. Seldom a problem with your work, because, even though your work is personal, you write with generousity. cheers, Jess

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thanks for rereading and sharing. Respectfully Yours, Barbara