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Fleur MacDonald
Fleur MacDonald
Dec 23, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Want

I want a life less complicated
A life

I want a life less constricting
A life

I want a life less pain-full
A life

I want a life less spiritual
A life

I want a life less smokey
A life

I want a life less rigid
A life

I want a life less pretentious
A life

I want a life less stress-full
A life

I want a life less boring
A life

I want a life less lonely
A life

I want a new life.

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Country/Region: AUS

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Comments

P

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

I want

I see your point of the poem but all of the "I wants" become redundant and ditract from the poem itself. This also sounds very selfish I Want and does not appear to be a poem at all , but a list of demands. Chrys
Fleur MacDonald

Fleur MacDonald

17 years 4 months ago

Never selfish

I understand what you mean, but it's not a list of demands as I am not a demanding person, I was feeling like I had had enough as you do at the end of another working year, just fed up. I'm having a break now and recharging my battereries Fleur
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 4 months ago

The structure works for me,

however a different last line (or two) could really make it. Something that breaks out of the passive "I want" into the active I will. cheers, Jess "Who are you writing for?"