In Spite Of It All

"Mommy" I would say, "I have no
Clothes to wear to school today
"That's your fault" she would say
"You shoud have laid your clothes
Out last night

"But Mommy, I have no clean clothes
to lay out. What should I do
"Don't bother me" she would say as
She impatiently stomped her foot
"Why do you always have to cause trouble

So that morning, already late for school
I crawled under the bed and found my
Brothers' dirty striped shirt to wear
Put on socks with holes in the heels
And a little pair of scuffed shoes

My brothers' striped shirt, and an old
flowered skirt
My hair uncombed, and no bath
This is the way I went to school most
Of the time.  I was only seven years old

I had no friends and the teacher looked at
Me with distain.  No one ever thought to help
I tried to be invisible and hoped that nothing
Would be said
In the classroom, I never knew the right answer

On the playground I stood alone
Leaning up against the wall
Trying to act as if I did not care
No one to talk to, and not invited
To play with the other kids

I began to live in my head and
Imagine that I was someone wonderful
It was my secret place to go
I lived in a world of books and dreams
And imagination

A loner for sure, with secrets to hide
Abused by my father, and ignored by my mother
Just a little girl, and so all alone
Nothing but a throw away child
But I fooled them all

I grew up well in spite of it all
What should have defeated me
Only served to make me stronger
The dreams, the books and my imagination
Have served me well

And in spite of it all, I loved you Mom