Rett

Dec 13, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Spirit Woman #2

Spirit-Woman #2

In the canyon she stands quietly,
At one with the rugged stone
As the maiden and the warrior enter,
Thinking they're alone.

They lock in passion's embrace.
The world seems to stand still.
She smiles to herself, knowingly,
As spirits of her kind will.

A pinch of sand upon her palm,
Blown gently across her hand,
A small sand-devil forms
Rushes to where the lovers stand.

Straight as an arrow from a war bow
It wraps the lovers in sandy embrace,
Then collapses upon itself and falls
To vanish without a trace.

The Spirit Woman smiles with satisfaction
As she silently fades away,
Her blessing has been bestowed
And love would blossom that day.

— Rett, Dec 13, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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Critiques

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Rett

A great story Looking forward to the next one. this took to to the a cave in the prairie lands. great images. I have one question. would *with out a trace* flow better than with *not a trace*. Just a thought. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Good thought and you are right

Change has been made. Thank you my friend. Glad you liked it. Part 3 starts dealing with the meat of the story though. Will post tomorrow. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

Nature Mithya

17 years 5 months ago

One of the best....

....I have read from your collection. congrats. I can the invisible sword working magic with sand.

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Nature

I appreciate it. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

Robert Melliard

17 years 5 months ago

Hi Rett,

These Spirit Woman poems have a strong western flavour due both to the imagery and the landscapes. One doubt: shouldn't it be 'rushes' instead of 'rush' in the last line of the third stanza? Best wishes, Robert.

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Robert, right you are

and the change has been made. Thank you. I hate those little niggling mistakes. Glad you liked it. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

yenti

17 years 5 months ago

Spirited

away with this one Rett well written and a beaut story, and as you know I never sugest any changes LOL but as you are a very good friend may I say that the second line:- "One with the rugged stone". be said as:- "At one with the rugged stone". I didn't say that did I ????? it was but a thought LOL, Yours, Ian.T

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Well Ian

Glad you are liking it and as you know, I don't accept corrections, but since you never make them I guess that works out just peachy. *LOL* Change being made my friend. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Janice

There is more to come. Glad you are liking it. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

Glad I got to this after

Glad I got to this after Robert and Yenti had hauled you across the coals, although I enjoy that job myself. When you work in structured rhyming forms as you do (not that there's anything wrong with that! teehee) every stressed or unstressed foot, every syllable is critical. If I was your Mentor (or God or President) I would set you some Longfellow to read for your sins. (note to my protegees, when I set Longfellow for you it is not for sins but enlightenment) Oh and love the poem too, don't know why you thought I wouldn't. cheers, Jess "They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Jess

I'm sure you will find errors in some of mine and point them out. I am also sure that being the student I am I will correct them. (if a person quits learning, bury them, they're dead) For Jess' protegees, read Longfellow, awesome! Glad you liked it Jess Respectfully, Rett: "Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit.." (Sitting Bull)

themoonman

17 years 5 months ago

Rett...

loved the magical sand-devil... and the rest of the poem...... enjoyed! Richard

Rett

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks Richard

I truly appreciate it. Respectfully, Rett: "Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit.." (Sitting Bull)

Wafi

17 years 5 months ago

Spotlight.

Great job Rett. I can see that the Spotlight is always reserved for you lol. That says all about you.I really enjoy reading your poems. learn much from it. Thanks. Sincerely yours, Wafi