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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Dec 12, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Nectar from the Bees’ sting

Nectar from the Bees’ sting

Clouds grace the heavens above, and
Opportunities come once in a lifetime. Having
Millions like roses have thorns that prick when
Friends and family emerge like leeches. Sleeping
On humble sheets keep the reserved modest when
Riding in pricey cars feeds
The ego

Zealous dreamers shed their comfort zone,
On the road to fame and riches, for a bed of roses
Nectar from the bees’ sting of trouble is
Eloquently laid out on red carpets
 

— Barbara Writes, Dec 12, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Critiques

NM

Nature Mithya

17 years 6 months ago

ONE- First line: Nectar from

ONE- First line: Nectar from the Bees’ sting TWO- The last Two: Nectar from the bees’ sting of trouble is Eloquently laid out on red carpets lol TWO minus ONE Poetry Result:of trouble is Eloquently laid out on red carpets. =EGO GROWTH or LAID.
NM

Nature Mithya

17 years 5 months ago

A Complex Question

Love needs no ego or riches. jealousy is a part of human nature. Being rich or being poor; Both ways it hurts. Lol I would love the nectar with out the bee sting.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

thanks for the input

this is a complex poem about the pursuit of riches and the injuries that come with it. your insight into my poem is good, but it flow from me from differently. love and jealousy is apart of,t but it flow from a different angle from me. as for the nectar from the bee sting, it denotes sweet is success like nectar, but like the bees' sting is painful, success comes with much pains for many. thanks for commenting i really appreciate that. If that makes sense. maybe need different wording to make the meaning less obscure. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
NM

Nature Mithya

17 years 5 months ago

Pain comes from being rich or being poor.

Success comes from hard work or by good fortune. One can be born with a silver spoon. A poor person learns to take the bee stings in life.Success makes him stronger to over come the bee sting to enjoy the nectar. A rich person knows little about daily suffering; the importance of bee sting. Living in success so suffers bee sting when he becomes unsuccessful. The one with the silver spoon really suffers the bee sting most being cheated of his wealth from close ones what to say of the false ego he had learn't to hold clinging to it with a passion. It would be best to merge the beginning with the end developing on the central stanza.That would remove the obscure content. That is what I would do.
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

mmm, a really good acrostic should read like it isn't one.

when I copied this into a word processor and reformatted it as it would normally be for verse several problems emerged. I suggest you try it. I like the imagery and ideas, and that you are stretching to different forms, but this one needs some work. adore the title and its use in the piece. cheers, Jess
deelilah

deelilah

17 years 5 months ago

Hello Barbara

I enjoyed this. Although I know your point is absolutely true, I could use a little more nectar and a few less bee stings; in fact I'm allergic to bees. As for comfort zones, I have yet to find one. Yours, Dee
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Dee

Glad you got a kick out of it. Thanks for taking time to read and comment. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thanks for the suggestion I will try it. Glad you like the title and how it work so well in this piece. Respectfully Yours, Barbara