Barbara Writes

Dec 09, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Worms Behind My Molars

Worms Behind My Molars

While death nears, it's wintertime in my soul, my
Once vibrant spirit tires out, no longer can I
Run with the wind like springtime in my flesh. Behind
My molars, worms will feed when death comes, then I’ll
Sleep in the heart of the earth until a better day.

— Barbara Writes, Dec 09, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

theladyblue

17 years 6 months ago

ok so...

I totally came here because of your title and now I do not believe that I could be more thoroughly impressed! Incredible bit of writing here my friend...me thinks the Elf was right about you!!! Bravo! <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ "Tempted by your Tainted Love I sure do love the way you come inside my crystal ball..." Buckcherry 'Next to You'

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

theladyblue *I like your pen name

Thanks Emarie, I could not have gotten a better comment. Glad you like it so. I am always looking for unique ideas to perk my creative juices. The thought of *worms and molars* just blew me away so I had to write it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Jo Latimer

17 years 6 months ago

Hi Barbara

This is another very good piece. I particularly like the way you have used the run-on lines to effect. Gives the feeling of the tiredness and the inability to separate anymore. Good stuff! Regards, Jo

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Jo Latimer

Thanks Jo, I appreciate you taking notice of the run-on. I was hoping the punctuation was effective as I was feeling my way through this one. What you said about tiredness and the inability to separate is great insight into my poem. when writing this one I let my feelings and struggle with life guide this one as I choose the metaphors that work well with life and death. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

zarul

17 years 6 months ago

WHOA

what a hauntingly true poem. death will come come to each of God's creations. Only our deeds determined the way we died. if we done more good than bad in our live, we'll die in noble ways and vice versa. i can sense tiredness of living in ur poem. this is beautiful HUG ZARUL check out my latest poem, COCOON k.

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

thanks zarul

I appreciate your comment and insight into my poem. Tired of living is not exactly what I meant, but I can understand how you saw that. The spirit here would be that vibrant strength and energy from our youth that made us feel invincible when we were young. Now as we age and move closer to death we tire out, but the desire and will to live is still intact. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

leonard daranjo

17 years 6 months ago

Was drawn in by the title

Death: Not a subject many people would deal with candidly. Most people like to look the other way and pretend it would never happen. I love the brutal way with which you have sliced through the truth and exposed its kernel. Well done here Janice. Leonard

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Hey, I am Barbara not Janice LoL

Thanks for commenting appreciate it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

He he he

At least I ain't alone making that error. *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Barbara...

like most of the others... the title drew me in and was quite impressed with the poem underneath it... very well written piece... Richard

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

Barbara (snicker)

Great Title and wonderful write. If it is all the same to you, I think I'll be cremated. Probably won't help though, I'll still have worms digging through my ashes so I guess I might as well feed the poor thing. Great write my friend. Respectfully, Rett: "The people of America must really like idiots, look at EVERYONE in Washington." Rett

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Rett (snicker)

We are being cremated also, haha. I am glad you find the title a great one and the read a wonderful one. The reality of death is gruesome and like Leonard says many rather not go there. thanks for the comment. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Richard

Glad the title drew you in. I am happy you find it impressive. Surprise myself with this one, I didn't expect to get this kind of response, but glad it is. Thanks for all the support. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Barb

What a gross title... I love it! Can really see a huge improvement in your writing. Congrats on Spotlight! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "Does Rudolph fail the safety inspection if his nose is burnt out? And where does he go? I don't think he'd fit in the bay at the Jiffy Lube." Happy holidays, y'all!

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Thanks jess K

Glad you like it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Spotlight

Two in a row, I am very appreciative for all of your votes. thanks again for all the support. My writing is getting better, thanks for all the constructive critique. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

R.M.Shanmugam

17 years 6 months ago

With selected words you have

With selected words you have woven a painful poem.

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

painful poem

lost of love one is painful and the idea of their once vibrant body in this corrupt state is even more so. thanks for commenting Respectfully Yours, Barbara

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

Just goes to show how important a title is

but you've got to be be able to back up the promise, here you do in spades. Such a joy reading your works. cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Thanks jess

glad i didn't disappoint thanks for the comment. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Jess

this was a spur of the moment had to write poem. took only a few minutes. glad it done so well here. thanks again Respectfully Yours, Barbara