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Ill

I get ill through the same means I create happiness.Darkness fills my eyes.And then I die.The man with a gun to his face, disgraced, by no itchy trigger finger.Guts often prevail and the gun clicks.The poor man must create extravagant means to kill oneself.
— bloke, Dec 08, 2008

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Country/Region: AUS

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Critiques

infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

wow, that's dark

Nice use of a shortened format. It got the point across right quick. Good writing. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con' would that make the opposite of 'progress' Congress? Just wonderin'....."
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bloke

17 years 5 months ago

thank you

cheers for your comment it means a lot...
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Conect11

17 years 4 months ago

walks a thin line

between the dark "been there before" angst and a serious, awesome poem. Love the first and final lines, something I wish I could have written myself. Second line while it fits the theme just doesn't seem to work. Seems to trite. Like I said, the sentiment is there; I just think you can find a better way to say it. Mark W. "Not since the Houston Asylum Fire of '54 have I seen so many flaming crazies." ~Dan Rather, SNL Fringe Candidates Debate