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S
SAKTHEEE2007
Dec 03, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fear not

Fear not

 

Fear not

I will be there to help you

Wherever you may be

I Will come and help you

It is my birth duty

it is my purpose of this life

 

Fear not my dear!

I will be with you in all your pains and troubles

God has given this life to help you,

help all the needy of this land

Wherever you may be

and whatever your problem may be

My hands and thoughts are waiting to help

You may be in the hell

or you may be in a pit

My hands will for sure lift you from that hell

Call me my brother

to help you in time

 


— SAKTHEEE2007, Dec 03, 2008

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Critiques

Robert Melliard

Robert Melliard

17 years 6 months ago

Altruism

Hi Sakkthee, I liked this poem because it firmly states a desire to be altruistic. Personally I would write 'in this life' rather than 'of this life' at the end of the first stanza. I would also put 'hell' instead of 'the hell' in line eight of the second stanza. And if you are talking to a brother, I'm not sure if 'my dear' is the right expression, as it is usually said by men to women or vice-versa. I think the internal logic of the poem is perfectly consistent. Best wishes, Robert.
R

R.M.Shanmugam

17 years 6 months ago

I understand that ‘I’

I understand that 'I' represents the poet and 'you', the needy. the thought is noble. such cocerns are dwindling among prospering community.