Her

impaled on
the agonizing spike
of Lover’s sudden death
I fled fractured
through uncaring world
until at last
I found a place
where a smothering of
drugs and drink
pretended that
it cared enough
to make me think
that I was whole
once more.

imprisoned in
the choking hold
of stark addiction
I forgot her face
her form
her warmth
her grace;
I was
contented with
the falsehoods
and the lies
that mockingly denied
my emptiness.

existing at
that empty heart
of wasted life
I saw her in
a stabbing thrust
of painful clarity,
remembering
her pity
her distress
the horror that
she would have felt
for the vacant thing
that I had let
myself become.

living now with
future rich
with hope
and full of life itself
where memory
cannot be
a deadened dream
of endless grief
and soullessness
I live
I love
I laugh
I often think
and sometimes cry
as I remember
Her.