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Unlight
Unlight
Nov 19, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

One last breathing

I will no longer cherish marble faces
and neither will I beg for smiles
like other times
within furrows dug deeply

I will no longer open tombs of memories
weeping in vain
over some flowers
the sap that burns in me

I will no longer dream about those flaming nights
when your face used to reflect itself on the moon
with stardust on your cheeks
and the sky kept us glowing...

I will no longer smile like an infant
and neither will I take grains from your hair
but on the ledge's distress
I will remain alone covered with clay
— Unlight, Nov 19, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: Romania

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Critiques

HA

Hassaan Abdeen

17 years 6 months ago

SUPERB

For a very long time I did not read a masterpiece... your poem is!!! Thank you for sharing such a talent!
P

pinksheep

17 years 6 months ago

This

poem gets to the heart of things to me, with this i refrain with SUPERB-'You've reached a star because there are such things'
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

One last breathing

unlight, Glad to see you posting again. Beautifully written Just one suggestion Line 14 and neither I will and neither will I _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

One last breathing

5~ from me _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________
Unlight

Unlight

17 years 6 months ago

Janice, yes, I saw that when

Janice, yes, I saw that when you let your first comment here. Thank you. Maybe he/she is right. Maybe this poem is poor. Who knows... Greetings!
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 6 months ago

This poem is not poor!

In fact, it is one of the richest and most original accounts of lost love I have read for a long time. Your first line alone had me hooked. Poetic Regards, Ink Dragon
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 5 months ago

This is as perfectly executed as most of your work.

So I seldom comment but do appreciate. I am sorry some jealous or peevish soul voted poor here. Sometimes if there is a pattern we can identify people who do that. Look out especially for a poor vote that knocks you from the Spotlight in favour of someone else. But there has to be a pattern of behaviour, don't get paranoid or start accusing the wrong people. Let the AEC know. They will investigate with powerful forensic site tools. Please do not make any accusations. If someone is found to be making a practice of this we can tell them we know what they are doing. It has only happened, as a practice, once before, when confronted the member left the site out of shame. I am sorry it happened to you but it was probably someone having a bad day. If you feel otherwise let the AEC know, its part of what they are for. cheers, Jess