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Betting on the cloud cover

Anger clouds the young man's thoughts
and he makes the wrong decision...

Hey man, that bitch said I can't see my baby!
She said "this is my new man"
 "now your baby has a dad"

...what was I supposed to do

so I took it to his ass
I didn't know he had a knife and couldn't fight
punk-ass-mother-fucker died

Now I'm doing seven years
and two more for being here
the shit comes to me
if I don't stop I'll never be free

so I'm waiting out my last year in a box
you see in here
the football game is us

if they hate you
they don't want your suffering to end
if they like you
they want you there watching
for them

hard to be middle of the road
when it's your time to go
that's when the betting begins
and the cloud usually wins
— themoonman, Nov 19, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

More from this author

Critiques

A

Arrow

17 years 6 months ago

Loved it!

I assume it's 2 more years for some institutional charge that resulted in seg placement? Enjoyed the dialogue, which rings true as does the mindset. Oh the problems of baby-mama-drama! My favorite of your works. No suggestions, just appreciation.
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Arrow...

you are correct about the two years... baby-mama-drama... this day and time it is everywhere... thanks... your words will carry my day! Richard
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

richard

*covers her eyes and ears* Wow, that's powerful! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"
Rett

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

Seen a few like this

Several people I know. Sad but it happens and you captured it well. all the struggles. Well done Richard. Respectfully, Rett: "Did you ever notice that the politicians who want to ban gun ownership are the very ones that should be shot anyway?" Rett: 2008
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

thanks Rett...

I appreciate your kind words... there are many that fall into circumstances that enable them to make the wrong choices in life out of anger and split decisions... thanks for stopping by Richard
O

orgami

17 years 6 months ago

been there did something but not completely that

I love poems like these Very well written Richard yes the words sure bring back memories for me and for prisons I have a lot of freinds who did time middle of the road lots of traffic going fast on either side deadly exciting I sure appreciate seeing such diverse poetry come from talented individuals Very impresive poem
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Well then...

I'm glad to see you here... your comments are always a welcome treat for me... thanks Richard
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 6 months ago

Poignant ...

Powerful. Wonderfully rendered. (Needs a bit of edit tweaking, but who cares!) Anything more and I'd be rubbing in the compliments. Don't want to stress you overmuch with excessivity, whether appropriate or not. In this case, I confess that probably, if I were to continue on with the accolades, it'd be done apropros. Yours as usual, Chuck
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

All right....

you are going to make my head swell... nah.... not much chance of that but I will say you have made my day Chuck! thanks Richard
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

Betting

Wow, is all I have to say. Great write here Moon. I really enjoyed this one! _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Hi Janice...

thanks for stopping by my friend.... and glad you liked it... Richard
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 6 months ago

Hi Dawning...

I appreciate your words here very much...I don't know that I can live up to your review... but thank you... and thank you for the confidence in my looking at your poem... means a lot to me... Richard