Escape

I like the title. I have a hard time picturing the images of where you are to escape from. the rhythm and pattern is like a run through till the end and I cannot grab a hold of your image. The theme I am not sure, but i feel you are trap and trying to escape from something as deep as the sea, but i can't picture what it is. Internal logic i look to see the beginning and end come together couldn't, but then it is probably just me. will come back for another read. I like the meaning you are formulating here. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

thanks for clarifying. looking forward to the reread Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Hello Wafi, I enjoyed slowly becoming nothing with the words of your poem, a little like the 'void' of the Chinese philosophy, where meditating before the mist of a great hidden view, they also disintegrate into it and become one with the ether of existence. Here you are in a state of meditation, not necessarily the meditation described by various gurus etc. but the med. we do because we are poets, somehow becoming the object, in this case the sea. As Basho said:- (I am translating from Norsk, whew) "Go to the fir tree if you want to know the fir tree or the bamboo or.... But when you do this you must forget your subjective self-centeredness(?) or you will influence the object and learn nothing. Your poetry comes of itself, when you have become one with the object: when you have studied it enough to discern the glimmer of something that is hidden within it; however well written your poem seems, if your feelings are not natural, your poetry will not ring true but only be a subjective copy of yourself." (probably badly translated and I could try to find the original Eng. trans. Mais tant pis!) Just below this in my notebook I see this: TV, Tony Harrison quoted Chinese sayings "In dark times the eye begins to see" One could say perhaps like your poem, In dark places...... Just waffling on .. Respectfully Ann of Norway (as my Proprietress calls me)

Wafi (does that stand for something in your language? ) Oh I'm not a guru, I do not think I have reached a stage where i could carry such a name. I don't really believe in them anyway, I think we have ourselves alone to listen to, to teach us in a way that we individually understand as we are products of our own experiences and can grow through the easy and difficult times in our lives. I have been lucky, as they say one should choose one's parents carefully!!! Mine were able to enjoy life, although my father had a difficult one, my mother was, as I too I think, born with a happy disposition and I thank 'my lucky stars' for that. I can see from your photograph how sensitive you are to your own feelings, we must, perhaps, not be too sensitive or we shall hurt others and ourselves too much in this strangely mixed life. But how wonderful to be able to feel the extremes of life, one wouldn't be without. It is the music in our veins and the beat of our hearts like a wonderful symphony of sounds and it makes life worth living. Don't despair, but find something positive in the down times in life and you will learn to soar with the birds in that magic sky that frames our lives. Love from Ann of Norway

I promised to comment more often in the near future... Here goes: I don´t have an idea of what it read like initially, but cannot find any flaws in your logic in this updated version. Like Ann, I felt the quietness, the calmness of your hiding place under the sea... I guess we all wish to have such a place where we can hide... Regards, ~Nina P.S. A little typo crept in (l.4 deap->deep?).

I really got into this poem, it was written very well. But I'm not sure the title does the poem justice.

if I were surrounded by nothing, indeed if I were in nothing, finding the edge of the universe would that still be nothing once I was there? I love how you descended into this poem, how your surroundings became so stark, so quietly destructive. Your form and structure are perfect. The title is a bit of a dichotomy, as you call it escape yet that seems like the last thing on your mind in poem... then again, perhaps your imprisonment in the water IS your escape. Interesting... Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible