infinite_dwarf

Nov 16, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Underwear Gnomes (a nonet)

Why must you always take what is mine?
You! Stop! I say there, give them back!
What do you want with dots? Stripes?
Zig-zags, and other things?
Prized undergarments
Stolen by imps
Underwear
Gnomes be
Gone!

**The nonet is based on syllables. 9 in first line, 8 in second, 7 in third, etc....**

— infinite_dwarf, Nov 16, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

LOL So that's it!

I knew about the sock eaters and the shirt bandits, but now I have to worry about underwear gnomes? Good Lord, what is the laundry room coming to? I guess we'll just have to call in the Pantie Police! Priceless write Jess and a fine nonet! Respectfully, Rett: "Did you ever notice that the politicians who want to ban gun ownership are the very ones that should be shot anyway?" Rett: 2008

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Hee hee hee!

I had heard of them years ago, but there's a pretty popular Southpark episode that this comes from also. The boys (Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and their groupmate Tweak) all have to write a report about corporate America to deliver aloud at a rally against Harbucks (Starbucks) This coffee store is taking the business away from Tweak's father, blah, blah.. Anyway.... they're up all night, totally zoinked out on coffee - and Tweak notices that his underpants keep disappearing. They finally catch the gnomes walking off with some, and follow them. They find a huge stockpile of stolen underwear, and they unveil their pattern: Step 1 - collect underpants. Step 2 - ??? Step 3 - PROFIT!! It's just always amused me, and sometimes I'll slip them into my writes. LOL! Guard 'em well! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

I was just looking at your tag line

Doesn't an enlarged pair a noids give you a nasal sound when you spot trouble? Just a thought... Respectfully, Rett: "Did you ever notice that the politicians who want to ban gun ownership are the very ones that should be shot anyway?" Rett: 2008

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

hmmm....

Don't know, but I know fluid in your airway makes you sound really weird when you talk. I think my voice is about an octave lower than it usually is, and is gurgly. Wish this stuff would clear up already! ps. if you burn your noids, you might sound like Bob Dylan.... :~O ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

Mark

17 years 6 months ago

It resembles

It resembles a washing machine that I once saw at a 24 hour laundramat. It's a catch 22. I need that gnome and it needs me. Something about survival of the most lucky. Although I seem to have more luck it always comes out ahead hmm Nice Nonet lol Man thinks this.

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Mark

Dad blast that machine anyways!! My underwear always stay intact.... it's my socks I always lose. I swear, I put two in, one comes out. It's a mystery to me. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

Jo Latimer

17 years 6 months ago

ROFLOL

You will not BELIEVE how many odd socks I have! How about the buggers who add that dark sock to the white wash? I smell a sequel :) Regards, Jo

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Jo

This actually goes hand-in-hand with another nonet that I had written - No One Appreciates My Visions (a nonet) but yes, I could go on and on with this subject! Like I was saying to Mark, the sock thing perplexes me; put two in, one comes out. Makes no sense! LOL! Thanks for the visit! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

Underwear Gnomes

Thanks for the nonet Jess, It made my day~ _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Janice

Glad I could help! :~) Thanks! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

shazbat

17 years 6 months ago

Excellent stuff Jess,

Excellent stuff Jess, isn't that spooky, i'd written 2 poems about laundry this evening, and honestly it was before I'd read this and strangely enough one is about the sock monster. I'll post that one later today. John

Kailashana

17 years 6 months ago

Beware the gnome who knows

Beware the gnome who knows where you keep your drawers. ;-0 Hugs kiddo.... your poem is skillful and funny!!!! ~A "I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God." Sufi proverb.

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

Jess,

I real, real, like this. I want to try it, but I have to think about it or I might hurt myself. If you see a sock you don't recognize in your laundry, detain it for a line up It might be mine. Its been out gallivanting for a while. LOL!! Thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego

Hilton Briscoe

17 years 6 months ago

Oh my, how sweet!

This is great, so sweet, playful and innocent. It makes me smile so wide I no doubt am going to have wrinkles before my time. H

Linda Moses

17 years 6 months ago

Jess

Really fun write. The sock gnome lives at my house

IKnowNoBox

17 years 6 months ago

That is grade A giggler

.. crafty wee folk. In ink, Dabbler

infinite_dwarf

17 years 6 months ago

Thanks, all!

Was in a playful mood, and decided it was near time to resurrect the gnomes. I'm glad everyone enjoyed the result. Thank you for the read and comments! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "The term "paranoid" would seem to indicate a lack of preparation.... I prefer to be labled "hypervigilant"

prayersbyPatty

17 years 6 months ago

Jess

golly, I almost missed another one. This was a very good one. Had me laughing. I just gave up and start wearing two different kinds. LOL, Patty throwing rainbows this poem is awesome!