London charm

I like everything about this, but there are two places that could be even better. "Envelop yourself in my airs" - I'd use a different word or "air" in its singular form "Smothering my face" - doesn't fit well with the line above it What do you think? After all, the whispers were for you. love ~ Ronda

I like the comparison of city roads to veins. An almost personification of the city. Way cool. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "If the S.W.A.T team breaks down your door, do they have to replace it later?" - "If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?"

What about using "stroking" - or does it change your intended meaning? Personally, I like it. The thought of a drop against a face stroking the skin is appealing - not so sure if it's sweat, though. *lol* Work what you feel is right. I see what you're saying about the rest. ~ Ronda

I usually comment before reading other comments, but couldn't resist here because Ronda is so fucking good. Yet for once I disagree with her, I think the last line is perfect and know (or think I know or feel) exactly what you mean. It's not a happy ending, but it is a lot of love. nothing structurally to criticise, cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.

Just came back again to tell you how much I like this piece, and ended up cracking up at Jess' statement. The more I read it, the last line works, because I know it works for you....if that makes sense. So there, Jess. We agree again after all! love ~ Ronda P.S. You do know that it was Ink who talked me into joining Neo? Well, you do now. Gotta love her!

The last two lines are perfect. Yes, if one want's to enjoy that vivacious city, one would have to submit oneself totally to its charm, energy and enigma. A very perceptive write. Leonard

Hey ID, Yes, I live in London and read this poem with great interest. I think it's very well-crafted and I wouldn't change a thing. It's almost a sensual whisper or lure... "Come hither.." However, I'm afraid my love-affair with London has been over for a long time now. I did write a poem about London myself (which I haven't posted yet) which is a lot more.. erm.. sarcastic ; ) or maybe a little bitter even (all my perception obviously). Anyway, that doesn't take anything away from your magical write and I can more than relate to "a" city getting under your skin and falling in love with it. : ) ~Stella

Yes, it is a bit like that, a marriage and falling out of love. (Plus it's me being difficult & fed up in a way ; ) Too many ghosts in this town! Will try to post the London poem this week (it's called Old City) Thx ID ~Stella

Simply scintillating, my dear... and I use that word sparingly! Always, Cat