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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Nov 11, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Teenage Dreams 2

Teenage Dreams 2

Night perches over me, turned my
Dreams of joy to fear
Cries for help go unheard
Struggling to get free
I ran into a tunnel of death
Toward the shining light

Panting for breath soaring above the rainclouds
I waited for the storm to end


— Barbara Writes, Nov 11, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Critiques

Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

Chasing Dreams 2

Barbara, Nicely worded I especially liked the very last line~ _____________________________ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ________Janice Pearce_________
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Thanks Janice

You are quick, i truly appreciate your comments and support Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 6 months ago

I too like your poem

I too like your poem Barbara.. how's this sound? panting for breath soaring above rainclouds I waited for another storm to end. (the title refers to 2) ? Hug. ~A
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Thanks A~

I appreciate that. It does sound good. But the 2 in the title mean this is the 2nd poem in a series of five I starting writing last week. I am still adding more as they come to me. Thanks for reading and commenting. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Sorry

I appreciate the suggestion thanks for everything. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Another storm

*Another storm* would change the shorter spectrum for me making it broader. each series is to stand alone and separate. it is small pieces of severals dreams over the years. if that make sense to. i usually make little sense when trying to explain. My fault. LOL Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 6 months ago

not a problem, sorry if that

not a problem, sorry if that sounded terse, just trying to do too much at the same time...i'll be more observant next time...I like your poetry Barbara... as well as many other poets. Always read it though i don't always comment until the spirit moves me...;-) Have a good day! ~A love your tulip... i'm looking for a new icon.
Rett

Rett

17 years 6 months ago

Another great one Barbara

I love it. It evokes such images as to incite the mind to a riot of thought. One minor typo if you will. Panting for breathe (should be breath) Looking forward to the next one. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby" Rett: 2008
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Eagle Eyes

Glad you caught it. Changes have been. Glad you saw the riot of thoughts it is what I was aiming for with out making it wordy. Have two more of these ready to post, but I am writing so much lately that I have a backlog of poems to post daily. I have written two different ones last night. You inspire on and Micheal inspire the other. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

I must talk to you sometime

I must talk to you sometime about shamanism, this sequence is sounding increasingly like a shamanistic rebirth/enlightenment process, loving it. My "Watermana" and "Wedding Journey" are based in that primal spiritual process. cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Jess

I am beginning to see where your spirituality is. rebirth and things of that nature is not where my understanding lay. Inner spiritual peace is what is embrace though I fear the dark side of it and run from it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

you will carry your light

you will carry your light and dark into any spirituality you embrace. Recognising, not denying, the dark is the only way to "manage" it, denial makes it stronger. Just my experience, cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Dark

You are right the dark cannot be denied and must be recognized. I do recognized it and differentiate it from the light being aware of its existence but embrace the light. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 6 months ago

Like this a lot

Looking forward to the next one! Nice imagery, vivid and immediate. This evokes a heavy feeling of dark anticipation in me, as if a storm were about to break. In the first line, should "perched" be "perches", or should "turn" be "turned"? Respectfully, Jim
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Jim

Appreciate your understanding of this poem. The darkness is that of a storm approaching one of fear that chases and tries to seize me. I like the light not the dark though it pursues me in the dream. Thanks for the grammar suggestions will make the changes. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Linda

Glad you are enjoying, thanks for commenting. Respectfully Yours, Barbara