Teenage Dreams 1

Teenage Dreams 1

The love of my life warmly greets me
Among the yellow and purple tulips
He finds me dancing in the wind
Under the morning sunrise
The eye of darkness follows me
I am off and running into an eerie house
Where Years of happiness turn to sorrow

With a puff of air, I fly like an eagle
Into the shadow of the moon

— Barbara Writes, Nov 08, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara...

a very elegant write... vivid pictures described here... only one line ... The Eyes of Darkness follows me... eyes follow eye follows The Eyes of Darkness follow me The Eye of Darkness follows me just a suggestion... Chasing Dreams... great title... Richard

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Missing somethung

i agree it misses a lot about the relationship briefly mention in the first two line. I left it to the imagination here. Will work on adding more soon. thanks for reading and sharing your concerns. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

Chasing Dreams

Agree with Dawning, here Barbara. But lovely images here~ To write a touching poem, you must gently stir the soul, if it brings forth tears or smiles, then the story was beautifully told. ~~~~~~~~Janice Pearce~~~~~~~~

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara,

this sound so sad that I thought of losing the spirit to live, like life fleeting into darkness (Sun to Moon) convey that feeling to me. I agree that it seems as if something else needs to be said, in this sorrow. thanks, Eddie PS. that eyes of darkness sound threatening, almost like death stalking. I don't know I'm lost! "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

losing the spirit to

losing the spirit to live is not the intent here because flying in the shadow of the moon is to hide from the danger or death stalking me. will work on that more and resubmit soon. like death stalking is dead on right. thanks for reading i appreciate your insight it helps me improve where i off the mark in expressing my meaning or image. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

am catching up on the whole

am catching up on the whole "Chasing Dreams" sequence 0-4, will comment on the whole as a body when I get to 4, you certainly have me intrigued from here. note I am off and running into a eerie house I am off and running into an eerie house cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.

weirdelf

17 years 6 months ago

am catching up on the whole

am catching up on the whole "Chasing Dreams" sequence 0-4, will comment on the whole as a body when I get to 4, you certainly have me intrigued from here. Are you expploring your shaman nature? note I am off and running into a eerie house I am off and running into an eerie house cheers, Jess "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin, wonder what he would think of the Patriot Act.

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Jess

Thanks, I am looking forward to you reading and commenting on the whole of it. Thanks for pointing out the grammar error. I will make the changes. Respectfully Yours, Barbara