Wafi

Nov 10, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sometimes It Seems

Sometimes it seems thus
Everything is useless.
Things, big and small.
You, me and all.

Sometimes it seems so
Life is a song of woe.
Everyone has got to sing
Some willing some unwilling.

Sometimes it seems love
As like a dying dove,
Is trying to thrive
But fails to survive.

Sometimes it seems that
Heaven, to our wretched state,
Will never respond
Untill we are drowned.

And sometimes it seems
All of our hopes,
And all of our dreams
Turn us into dupes!

About This Poem

About the Author

Comments

zarul

17 years 6 months ago

HI

NICE WORK, i salute you for captivating me throughout the words of ur poem. HUG ZARUL

Wafi

17 years 6 months ago

Thanks ZARUL

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am encouraged.

Arrow

17 years 6 months ago

I feel like there should be a little more.

Sometimes, it seems this way but - but what? Is it really this way or does it only seem this way? The answer to that question is what I feel is missing. "Life is a song of woe. Everyone has got to sing Some willing some unwilling." Yes, how true! I enjoyed the matter of fact misery of this poem. Welcome to the site.

Wafi

17 years 6 months ago

Maybe It Is!

Thank you very much for your views on my poem. you are right the answer is not clear, whether it is really so or not, i cant say exactly but still sometimes in life you find it to be very much true. I am happy to have people like you on neopoet, who could help. Regards. wafi

Arrow

17 years 4 months ago

To elaborate-

The feeling you've expressed is a common one. We've all wondered it when we're disappointed or been exposed to some tragic circumstance. I'd like to know what you've, after reflection, CONCLUDED. Some people conclude there is an Ultimate good plan which humans can't understand. Other people conclude that there is no meaning and humans should work to create a constructive meaning. Camus's Caligula came to a horrific conclusion and so on. The conclusion is key because it drives how people respond to life. Your conclusion and your response is the addition I wanted to see. What is your understanding of your existence and what will you do about it? Any truthful answer is fine. If you choose to revise, I would like to re-read.

weirdelf

17 years 4 months ago

beautifully written,

but I also wanted more, we have heard this before, frankly better said. It seems to me you are working on your poetic form (great control!) rather than the trite ideas expressed. Even the ending doesn't save that. cheers, Jess "A poet's work: to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it going to sleep." Salman Rushdie

Wafi

17 years 4 months ago

Jess

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate your thoughts very much. Can I know what "more" should be there? as Arrow also thinks there should be a little more. I really need you guys' help. I am lucky that I've got the company of so nice and giving people on the Neopoet, as I recieved precious suggestions that help me learn and improve my poetry so much. Glad and thankful Wafi

weirdelf

17 years 4 months ago

oh, its simple, mate

you portray yourself as victim and its embarrassing to read. Victim of love and life. No need for poetic technicalities. cheers, Jess "A poet's work: to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it going to sleep." Salman Rushdie

Darknlovely3436

16 years 3 months ago

That lifes

Great job. yes and we continued to go forward in this world, once again beautiful.

Wafi

16 years 3 months ago

Thank You So Much

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and comment, dear friend. I appreciate your thoughts a lot. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~