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I'll try this one.

Looking, searching for words
that have not been created, at
least not by me,

struggling to create a sentence
that conveys all that is in this
empty head,

phrases that have no coherent
thoughts thrown onto mountains
of paper,

mounds of paper so high that
they might reach the sky,
looking like there's a sanitation
strike,

racking my brain and seeing
nothing that I might possibly
put on paper,

expressions missing their mark,
making me feel like I just should
give up,

I sleep and then awaken to a
spark within my brain were
there was only dark,

I sit and attempt to write, but just
like that it''s gone and there I am
back in the dark,

that spark never had a chance,
straight to oblivion it ran,

Maybe, one day I'll find the words
that will bring some understanding
to this trash filled head,

or maybe not?

-he looks at the mound of paper next to his desk and says,
 what the hell, I'll try this one-




— Eduardo Cruz, Nov 01, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

More from this author

Critiques

Mark

Mark

17 years 7 months ago

Nice and to polish . . .

expression = expressions is dark = was dark it"s = it's just use = I'll try this one = (but put it in italics) Other than this bit of polishing Eddie, I like it! Mark
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Mark,

thanks guy I appreciate it, glad you like it. thanks again, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 7 months ago

Try poem..

E.C., practice leads to perfection. Try another one, and another one,... wcw
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

W.C.

how do you get to Carnegie Hall? practice, practice, practice! I wrote this to make fun at the process of writing. people do funny things when they write, we all have our little habits. thanks, for stopping by and commenting it's appreciated! Eddie "if I write a poem while I'm drunk, will it make sense when I'm not." "the process"
MK

Mason King

17 years 7 months ago

Really like this Ed! I

Really like this Ed! I totally understand the message you were trying to convey, the best thing about poetry is the fact that we know our Magnus Opus, Greatest work is yet to be written. M
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Big M.,

for you it's more then likely the next one you write. For me I'm just having loads of fun!! Don't read to deep into this one it was only a joke on myself!! Hey, truth is found in the most unlikely places. thanks for your comment, coming from a polished writer like you, it is no problem accepting. Eddie "if while I'm drunk I fall from a scenic overlook, is that suicide"
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie

It's ok, a lot of my works get the 'ole backspace key as well. Type a little ponder coffee break 1 omit type more erase ponder some more coffee break 2 and 3 and 4...... LOL! Actually, I was just being facetious. I don't take coffee breaks. Really like your tag line - I think mine's the other way around.... I write a poem, and then when I'm drunk it makes sense. Keep writing man, I love it! ~Veggie ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"When I was strong, strong in the sound thought I'd see when day was done. Now I'm weaker than the palest blue Oh so weak in this need for you" - Nick Drake
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Jess,

My coffee breaks are real, I love coffee! To make sense or not to make sense, what the hell I'll just get drunk. then I'll just lose all my sense. LOL! Really I don't drink, I gave it up 25yrs ago. I do remember the crazy things I did. This poem is just a joke on the process! -he puts the mound of paper in a large trash bag and takes it down to Kinkos and says to them, can you make a book out of this. They say No! He says, how about compressing the paper into logs for my fire place. They just kick him and his trash onto the street. Ah, the sad life of a poet want to be. thanks, Eddie "if while I'm drunk I write a poem and hit delete, is it posted?"
A

Arrow

17 years 7 months ago

Your head is neither empty nor trash-filled.

I know you said this is a joke but I can relate to this problem. I have a file of phrases that I think might eventually be made into decent poems. I think your work could be improved with a little more attention to where you break your lines. For instance, I think Stanza 8 would be stronger broken up a little differently for extra emphasis. Yep, just keep at it. You know, when I first got a bicycle as an adult, I pedaled straight into a dumpster and crashed. Seeing this, my neighbor said, "You should just give up." I eventually became a long distance biker. Looking forward to riding along on the way to your masterpeice.
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Arrow,

Q. "why do we fall down?" A. "So we can get back up." From Batman the Beginning. As I wrote to W.C. "how do you get to Carnegie Hall? practice, practice, practice!" In reality, I'm truly enjoying myself. For me, all I write is a master piece, because I never wrote before. All my life has been spent reading all I can get my hands on. I've read thing that you could not believe. Only for the joy of reading. now I write for the same reason. Arrow your comments are always well received by me, because you always bring your honesty. thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo