Stagnant

Stagnant

a whole civilization bundled away
stacked to the side in parcels
haves, have-nots, and so-badly-wanteds'
observed then ticked off the tally sheet
one less dream fulfilled
two fewer stars to shine
three more vague promises broken

every package tower leans
with precarious supports
how long until a back bone is installed?
luggage without leisure items
chokes the condominium halls
passages once thought preserved
from domicile insecurity

now parachutes are considered
idealistic vacations are lost to
imaginative campers forays
out into a world stripped of excess
to smell collective stagnant air

— IKnowNoBox, Oct 24, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

Critiques

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

Good to see you again!

It has been a long time since you have posted, re-welcome! I enjoyed this one,thanks for sharing~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Hi David...

I do hope you are back for good... in any case it is good to see you here and posting... Stagnant... I am seeing societies air reeking in this one.. although it could be read to depict a certain place depending on the readers take... liked it very much.... welcome back... Richard

theladyblue

17 years 7 months ago

‘a whole civilization

'a whole civilization bundled away stacked to the side in parcels haves, have-nots, and so-badly-wanteds’ observed then ticked of the tally sheet' such truths are rarely this readily spoken my friend...bravo! good to read you again! "For every shadow, no matter it's depth, is threatened by the morning's light..." <3 Emarie

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

David

Excellent tribute to the sorry state of affairs we've seen recently. If society and government completely collapses, there will be no distinction between the "have, have-nots, and badly-wanteds" as you so eloquently put it. We'll all be camping under stagnant air - and fending for ourselves. Outstanding write, my friend. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"So you stand on the corner in your new English clothes, and you look so polished from your hair down to your toes. Ah, but still your finger's gonna pick your nose after all." - Billy Joel

vonnegutfan

17 years 7 months ago

Hello again

I would like to say something witty and intelligent about this marvelous piece, however at this late hour I Fear I am way to drunk for intelligence of wit. At any rate a wonderful, concise, and masterfully crafted write, I really enjoyed it

IKnowNoBox

17 years 7 months ago

Thank you dwarf, and vonogut fan. when the struggle to breathe

is felt, then it is an emergency to those who doubted the wheezing of others. In ink, Dabbler

washing tears

17 years 6 months ago

reading this was a pleasent

reading this was a pleasent experience, i had images placed in my head, even whene there was no image placed, your words wrote a picture for me, more of a confusing statment then anything that could ever help you in this category of life. i would just like to say i enjoyed this poem from beginning to end. well done thanks washington fear

Race_9togo

17 years 6 months ago

Coming back

How strange...it seems you returned from a long haitus at about the same time I did! This produced an evocative sense of mystery in me, as if it was revealing things I thought I knew about, but really didn't undestand. The second verse was the most powerful to me, with its sense of loss and emptiness. Altogether an excellent,emotion-provoking piece.