Through a Bright Convex Lens

Through a Bright Convex Lens

Upon a woeful raft of dreams,
Upon a random wrest of wind,
Upon a river of calm screams,
I agonize to comprehend
Each musing that slips through my soul
And carves an indecisive path
And termites at my self-control
And fuels my blinding baneful wrath.

Can I awake from agony
And march within the hopeful scenes?
Can I contrive audacity,
Collect the peace that no-one gleans?
Must I away from friends and love
And humble haunts of tenderness?
Is this the fate my pain speaks of
Or payment for my life's transgress?

Each second that tumbles awry
Ticks a meter of happenstance,
Colludes with fears that underlie
This fretful, futile, doleful, dance
That threatens sanity's last stitch
On a quilt of life, abraded;
Just tatters now that twist and twitch
So mournful, forlorn, and faded.

Morning, She promised a respite
But dare I heed Her misty word?
Shall I awake safe and contrite
Oblivious of what's occurred?
Or will I wake besieged with fear
And crushed with dismal destiny?
The answer is so far from clear
And teeters on insanity.

— Pugilist, Oct 22, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Jacksonville area, FL, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Keats, Kipling, Carroll, Yeats, Tolkien, Shakespeare

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Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

Jonathan

I just had a wild thought, and it may be totally far off, but here you go... The convex lens was the first rudimentary form of magnification. (nice job using convex instead of plain old magnifying) At first, it almost seems as if you're giving us a "close up" or magnification of your life. Upon finishing, though, I sort of felt more of a sense of torture. I'm sure you've either done, or have heard of burning bugs with a magnifying glass? It's almost like awaiting the answer from 'her' is torture. Like you're being burned by the glass. Most impressive, my friend. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"They gave you life, and in return you gave 'em hell. As cold as ice, I hope we live to tell the tale..." - Tears For Fears

Jonathan Moore

17 years 7 months ago

Thanks for the comments

With this poem I was trying to establish a snapshot into a mind nearly paralyzed by depression where everything is magnified and each challenge weighs on the mind. The title, I have to admit, was one I'd come up with a while ago and tried out on different poems but this is the first time it has actually fit. It speaks to the feelings and mood I am trying to convey in this work. A near constant of my work is treating concepts and ordinary things as fully realised beings who can make decisions and affect the lives of the characters within my work. In this case, Morning is visualized as a sentient force and the person in the poem does not know if they should trust her. This indecision has nothing to do with Morning and everything to do with their mindset. For me, that's how I see most anticipated conflict. It only exists in the mind of one of the parties and had they the strength of will to confront it their life would be different. Not better, perhaps, but not stagnant. Thanks again for your thoughts and observations. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Jonathan...

I liked your poem... it is a sad feeling I am left with because that is what I get from it... I see a man looking so hard at his life that he has become afraid that everything he does is misconstrued.. looking at it through the microscope as such... I thought the title fit well... that is if I read it correctly... well metered and written... Richard

Jonathan Moore

17 years 7 months ago

Richard

Thanks for the read and comments, they are greatly appreciated. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)