Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

LD
leonard daranjo
Oct 22, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

For the Dispossessed Child of Our Land

 Many petals 

Of this delicate flower

Have either withered

Or withdrawn

His roots, 

Seeking  sustenance 

In dry desert land,

have atrophied

Instead of singing songs 

Of the splendour of spring

He croaks with bull-frog hoarseness

Of vaguely visioned dreams



About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Comments

Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 6 months ago

For The Dispoessed Child Of Our Land

Leonard,Hey there, my friend This was beautiful. I think line 5 his roots, maybe "their roots" Line 9 "of" after instead? this would make it perfect. Or maybe I am mis-understanding the content, let me know~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers
L

leonard daranjo

17 years 6 months ago

Thank you Janice

I was writing in singular so "his roots" is okay. Line 9 is definitely a mistake. I left out the preposition "of". Thanks for point out. I do appreciate your reading and commenting. Leonard
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 6 months ago

Agree with Jan

Sounds better without of. Good write Patty
L

leonard daranjo

17 years 6 months ago

Thank you Patty

You and Janice are right. Should be "instead of". It was a mistake. I have corrected it. Thanks again ... Leonard
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 6 months ago

Nice poem Leonard

Sounds very good now, Like it, like it Patty