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Dont Try To Make Me

falling for you
what should i do
i know deep down that i cant have you
not even for a second
so why am i trying
inside i am dying
i want to scream at you
for making me feel like this
when you know as well as i do
that i cant have you like that
you look at me with those brown eyes
and say that you love me
but you already have somebody
im not the type
to take people away from some one else
and im not going to now
you cant change that
even though i want you bad
i cant have you
and you need to understand that
i do i guess love you too
but i wont have you
because you are taken
its said and done now
so dont try getting me to come back

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Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

CG69,

I like your values, and the stand you take. I just have a problem with these two lines: "i do i guess love you too" a sounds run on i believe you need a comma after, "I do" "so don't try getting me to come back", I think it should read: "so don't try making me come back" this way your using your title. that's just my opinion. other wise I really like it. Thank's Eddie
O

orgami

17 years 6 months ago

Like the lilt in the lines

so used to seeing men I say this again but true writing their love sonnets Myself included I love it when a woman writes (because women writers where what got me writing in the first place) I agree with Eddie about values and such I like how you love him admit this and still go on to write "so dont try getting me to come back" thats the kicker for me great poem well written