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NM
Nature Mithya
Oct 07, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sweet Surrender

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— Nature Mithya, Oct 07, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: india

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Critiques

Rett

Rett

17 years 8 months ago

Nature, this is a nice one here that needs a little work.

Decent poem with very erotic meanings without being crass or pornographic. I have taken the liberty of suggesting a few changes, mostly in tense to lend greater meaning to it. Hope this helps. a good write that can become even better with more work. Love grip surrenders as finger(s) interlock Trip the heart, in charged flash(es) of light. I quake, as spirits beg(i)n their yield Respectfully, Rett: "We can all be thankful that Picasso wasn't a plastic surgeon." Rett
NM

Nature Mithya

17 years 8 months ago

Thanks Janice

It was wonderful of you to point out my mistakes. Lol I make such mistakes all the time. The truth is I am human and always under pressure to write in contests at all poetry. Mostly I post even with out revision. I know it is bad for the image but I also enjoy when someone points out the mistakes. This was a adult contest and I never write explicitly so damage this poem in the pincer last lines; I think. Thanks for your comments and corrections suggested. I have made the changes here.