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erasing passive

                    I won't
be someones secret to unlock

        not a fear tucked into a back pocket
      of denium jeans
        unworn for 13 years

for some buyer at the thrift store to
hang back up after seeing the holes

I will be

the grafiti, neon
           a reminder of a local gang

                no one will bust
   on the billboard advertising
shave cream
          in a city that is familiar
          with crime and crooked and
                               slow police

you won't notice this
on the drive to work toward
 the onramp

but it will be there, speaking itself
                            over and through.
— whitetea, Oct 07, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Chrystos, Mark Strand, Adrienne Rich, Naomi Shihab Nye, Rachel M. Simon, Donald Justice, Mary Oliver, Nikki Giovanni, Alice Walker, Bukowski, Mary Lambert

More from this author

Critiques

A

Arrow

17 years 8 months ago

Great piece.

Great analogies - apt and original. I never thought much about the (much ignored) defiance of graffiti until now. Perfect title. I really admire your use of spacing. I never could figure how to work that.
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 7 months ago

>

i watch for graffiti when trains go by. i was thinking of changing the title to breaking the passive, but i am not sure. thank you i use spacing to give emphasis. thank you so much for reading
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 8 months ago

This is a nice piece

I love the way you have picked up the everyday items in life and drawn up analogies. When you write, using objects/things that people are familiar with in their everyday lives, the message becomes very effective. I like this style of writing. Leonard
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 7 months ago

>

Thank you for such a compliment Leonard. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 8 months ago

>

thank you for stopping by and reading this. i love reading your work.
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 8 months ago

erasing passive

whitetea, I enjoyed reading this one, unusual,and that is what grabbed me, and kept me reading~ "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 8 months ago

>

thanks janice, its very appreciated. your user picture is interesting, very fitting.
O

orgami

17 years 8 months ago

nice piece

great poetry loved the jagged ness and smoothness both beautiful to touch and behold substance of the mind loved it!
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 7 months ago

>

thanks orgami. i have been thinking about how that is such a fitting name for you, something created fold by fold. i loved paper folding since the 4th grade, i was so set on becoming an origamian when i grew up. I even wrote the British Origami institute and they sent me wonderful pamphlet. have you ever done origmi? just curious.
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 8 months ago

Hi Whitney...

love this one as well... great imaging donned here you are truly a crafty being and a joy to read because of the originality of your writing and your ability to let the reader enter your thoughts... with clarity. Richard
whitetea

whitetea

17 years 7 months ago

>

Great to see you again Richard. Thank you. Originality is the goal. Hope you are well.