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Just Because You Exist


 JUST BECAUSE YOU EXIST

Just because you exist
the sky is so blue,
even inanimate objects
take on an
aura.
As if they have been painted
anew.
All the dull details
take on a new
role
just because you exist.

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Comments

D

DarkinAZ

17 years 7 months ago

This is nice...

I would try "more blue" instead of bluer though. Just a suggestion. Enjoyed the read, Mark
P

panaella

17 years 7 months ago

so blue...

Hey Mark, Thanks for the suggestion...I've edited it to ' so blue'...gives it a superlative effect...I'm in love with a new fella at the moment...and even the crappy aspects of my life don't seem so bad!...lol Ells x
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Yes...

this is very good... all the dull details take on a new role... loved that line! take on an aura... maybe "elaborate" or something like that inbetween an and aura. I just think it would flow better, but it may be just me... just a suggestion... either way it is a great read and I love the idea behind it.... Richard
P

panaella

17 years 7 months ago

aura, anew, new...

Hey Richard, Thanks matey...I chose aura because it went with anew,,,in an assonance kind of way. Also...don't you think life seems clearer & in sharper focus when you're in love & happy? everything seems 'glowing' and more vivid....does to me at the moment...I'm savouring being adored...(sigh)....okokok....i'm gonna make myself puke now!.....lol Best wishes, Ellie x
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Ellie...

I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't clear.. I wasn't suggesting changing any of your words.. I liked it very much... and I have felt it too and seen the vividness of new love and all of its freshness... your poem makes one feel it.. I was suggesting adding a word.. savoring being adored.. now I'm jealous... lol.. Richard
t. reflexion

t. reflexion

17 years 7 months ago

I like it...

the simplicity, the pairing reflection of the structure, the theme, the feeling and the wholesomeness of love, I feel with you and pray for your continued happiness. This is good. Best wishes. T.
L

leonard daranjo

17 years 7 months ago

Hi Ellie

Short and Sweet. Reminds me of Bob Dylan's "If Not for You". Enjoyed the read. Leonard
professor

professor

17 years 7 months ago

Beautiful

expression of how love, particularly new love, makes everything else around you seem so vivid and full of life. The only suggestion i have is perhaps to try and avoid the repetition of "new" and to shorten the line "As if they have been painted" to keep a smoother flow. Perhaps something like: As if fresh-painted All the dull details take on a new role just because you exist. just a suggestion BW Keith