Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

When a New Dawn Peeps Through

 The boat rocks

In a tumult of violent change

A pebble finds it way

To the bottom of the ocean

Awareness 

Sucked into the core

Of its origin

Finds equilibrium

Ancient wisdom incubates

In a changing sea

Of changelessness 

This lucid pool of  liquid silence
Has an all embracing
Eloquence



— leonard daranjo, Sep 23, 2008

Critiques

P

panaella

17 years 10 months ago

alliteration...

Hi Leonard, You write so elegantly!...loved the alliteration of ...'this lucid pool of liquid silence...etc...' You capture the peace and tranquility of silence in all your writes...it's a theme you have mined well...so well infact, I can't even begin to emulate...so won't!...lol Best Wishes, Ellie.
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 10 months ago

Thank you Ellie

I am honoured by your comment. You know what you have quoted "this lucid pool of liquid silence" sounds better than what I have writtens "this liquid pool of lucid silence" so I have changed it. Warm regards ... Leonard
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

tranquility

Smiles:) Barbara tranquility and beauty at the bottom of the ocean, better than being here sometimes, if only i was that pebble sinking enjoying that elegance. nice write well written.
R

rider68

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Leonard

Its always a pleasure to stop and read your work my friend.....written with thought, "This lucid pool of liquid silence Has an all embracing Eloquence".................What A Great Line.......Beautiful..... Very Best Regards....Leonard Peter ~~~"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today."~~~
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 10 months ago

Thank you Peter

Always a pleasure to have you stop by and read. Thanks a million. The very best to you ... Leonard
Mark

Mark

17 years 9 months ago

So pleasant to read

Leonard, I am not a technopoet so I tend to crit on trivialities. A pebble finds it's way or A way's pebble brings it told you huh? Not a technopoet lol Mark Walk me into the night and leave me there for I am not afraid. Just give me a ton of opiates ;)

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.