Why Has Thou Forsaken .... Buddhist Diary

Enervates and  weakens me

Suddenly, 

There doesn’t seem to be any meaning

Suddenly,

There is this void,

These iron walls that surround me

All the elements seem indifferent

In fact - hostile

People seem to be speaking stuff

That doesn’t make any sense

There is this sense of hurry -

Of never lingering on anything long enough

For deeper understanding

People are scrambling around

In a bid to earn and spend big money 

They seem happy doing it

They all seem happy -

Lapping up every drop of life

What’s their secret - I wonder

While I watch with outward calm

Is there something deeper

Something that  that not everyone can feel

Will I ever be freed  

From this sense of aloneness 

Which visits me every so often

There are times of course

When I am awakened to an inner voice

There are times when I am sure

Of life’s purpose;

Times when I feel that I 

Can never sink into

The abysmal depths of loneliness I am in now

But something gently lifts my spirits

Something tells me that all is not lost

That I would have  to wait 

That these are all the obstacles on a journey

That must be taken

So I watch, I work and wait

Not for a reward in the after life

But right here and now