Barbara Writes

Sep 02, 2008 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

My Peace Returns

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My Peace Returns

Sleeping in a sea of peace,
Unrest reared it ugly head
That restless feeling starts to form
Replacing tranquil with concern.

As tension starts to build,
I find a place that’s quiet
Calming this raging storm
Stirring within my heart

Feeling unimportant
Like a second class citizen
I lack the self esteem

To be among this clique

— Barbara Writes, Sep 02, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

DarkinAZ

17 years 10 months ago

Nice soothing write...

ahhh, relaxation. (just a few typos) Find a place that (is) or (that's) quiet. ect... otherwise, very nice. Though this does seem more like you are in a state of relaxation more than turmoil, too me anyway, may need an edit or title change. Sincerely, Mark

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

You are right as right can get

Smiles:) Barbara Need title change i do agree. I have been working on the title changing it a lot as well as the content to portray my feeling at the time. Before I wrote this, turmoil started to form in me for no reason, so I immediately went to a quiet place with my laptop and started writing this. The turmoil subsided as I got into the truck and pick up the laptop. I was enjoying relaxation when I wrote this. so title change seem to be in order.

panaella

17 years 10 months ago

comfort zone?

Hello Barbara, I enjoyed reading this poem. I'm a little confused about what your comfort zone is?...especailly when you consider the theme of your poem through the title, 'Controlled Sadness'. As a reader...I wanted you to carry on & explore where you were at the end of it...relaxed or sad?...where is your comfort zone....I need to know...arghhhhh....lol Regards, Ellie.

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

Thanks Ellie

Smiles:) Barbara I like you. I will fix that

DarkinAZ

17 years 10 months ago

Like the ...

New title! Nice write. Your friend, Mark

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

Thanks Mark

Smiles:) Barbara Glad the title works been working on it Ellie suggestion made it come to me much better.

col albert

17 years 10 months ago

CAPTAIN OF THE lIFE SHIP

Piercing the tranquility the whirl of desire begins to form towards the zenith. Yet your spirituality captains your feelings to a field of passification.May be your controlling factor is within your premises.Moment by moment it gives birth tio a new thought. But sooner it dies there comes another. I love your work of art.So simple but serene. Albert

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

Thanks Albert

Smiles:) Barbara you insight into my poem is intriguing. i see what you mean, each stanza stands alone. good or bad for this piece in you opinion? A work of art] thank you I just write from whats creative in me and out come what may in the form of art.

col albert

17 years 10 months ago

It is thematical

The first stanza the opening situation expresses how well you were floating in a state of tranquility. The second stanza begins to generate the sensual feelings through unwarranted temptation which is phenominal in a human body.However it is also the climax of the poem. Thirdly there comes a super-mundane effort blinking into the disturbed mind and the fourth the finale where it shows how the power of the mind supersedes the craving desire and reaches an arena of self satisfaction. Others may have different views. How do you feel?

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