Barbara Writes

Sep 01, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Just Wanta Be Free

She’s like a bird in a cage
with wildness in her eyes
struggling to be free
of standards that keep chaste.

The values’ around her collide
with her hearts desire
as she walks the golden road
looking for her prize.

Like an eagle she wishes to be free,
the cats meow lay in wait
as she follows her dream
to catch her unaware.

Fantasy gave way to reality and
deception now truth is bittersweet

— Barbara Writes, Sep 01, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

yenti

17 years 9 months ago

Free

Taller grasses now russet, turned bitter in her tummy. Although I may have missed something somewhere this reminded me of the people I saw that ended up eating grass, as they were in the midst of a civil war and that was the only food there was. It brought back that memory and the futility of power seekers, and religious freaks, that will go to war just to gain a bit of land instead of being Human whatever that is now. Thanks Ian.T.

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks Ian

Smiles:) Barbara Different from what my theme is, but your interpretation is impressive to me. Thanks for commenting.

yenti

17 years 9 months ago

Sorry

This seems to be on the wrong stream and I am forced to blame it on age, think I should have my memory upgraded lol Yours Ian.T

Rett

17 years 9 months ago

Yep

That's what happens when you get old Ian. The memory is the first to go bad, the rest soon follows. *LOL* Respectfully, Rett: "The only thing observable with the naked eye to exceed the speed of light is rumor" Unknown

Rett

17 years 9 months ago

Barbara

I am really torn here. What do I say to one that has surpassed all beginning expectations? You have traversed the plains of mediocrity to plant your feet firmly in the soil of wonderful. Since I have been on this site I have watched you grow in understanding from that's okay to Damn that good and all the way to Holy cow, that is a great write. This is another wonderful one. The young one struggling to be free of the chains of the chains of chasteness and what is expected to the bitter realities of adulthood and the promised land that isn't all it is assumed to be. I have to say that I am honored to have been witness to your climb into the ranks of a wonderful Poet! Kudos my friend. Respectfully, Rett: "The only thing observable with the naked eye to exceed the speed of light is rumor" Unknown

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks Rett

Smiles:) Barbara I owe my growth to Neopoet and its willing established poet fine critique and friendship. could not have happen otherwise. thanks for being a real friends You are exactly right it is exactly what I have been trying to bring out in this piece. I am happy it work so well here.

themoonman

17 years 9 months ago

Barbara...

I love this.. you truly are pulling from the magic now... Kansas City? I just wondered.. Richard

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Hey Richard

Smiles:) Barbara I am glad you enjoy it so thanks for reading and commenting Kansas City is probably over the top should have said prize what do you think?

themoonman

17 years 9 months ago

well...

I'm glad you asked.. I thought if you had just left off, City, then it would have been comparing yourself to Dorothy.. trying to find Home Sweet Home... and that would be a prize huh.. I like what you've got now too... Richard

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks Richard

Smiles:) Barbara i appreciate your suggestion, it made it work better.

Linda Moses

17 years 9 months ago

Barbara

Really a good write. I do, like Richard, wonder abou KC.

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks Linda

Smiles:) Barbara I am glad you like it and appreciate you comment

Bryan

17 years 9 months ago

very nice

you seem to have layers of meaning that keep the readers mind reaching in this poem. On a style point (and I could be wrong here) I think there is a tense problem. It is a very strange usage so I would have to look to be certain. "The values’ around her collides with her hearts desire" values' is plural and I think that when things violently come together they collide rather than collides. I wish my Chicago Style Manual was handy. Bryan BTW 'western classic' style is new to me. I love poetic forms and want to learn more. Can you steer me in the right direction?

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Thanks Bryan

Smiles:) Barbara you are probably right about the tenses and will change to collide been years since English class, so i'm not sure either need a manual also as a helper. I appreciate your critique.

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Western Classic

Smiles:) Barbara Don't know much about it or if my western classic is good or not. new to me also. I goggle western classic and followed the poem they use to show how to write them so i can get the structure and syllable as close to right as i can understand.

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 9 months ago

free

Barbara, tell me if I'm wrong. the writing of a truth that is written in fantasy, is the freedom a real poet finds. I beleive that you have found the freedom that people only dream about. I liked this so much that I read it to my to my wife, of course giving you your due credit. Someone once said that poetry is best when read out loud. Eddie

Barbara Writes

17 years 9 months ago

Wow Thanks Eddie

Smiles:) Barbara You have made me speechless to respond. Freedom people only dream about wow. writing truth written in fantasy. Must reread my own poem with this kind of high praise and comment. So happy you like it so and say hi to your wife.