You Had Me At Debussy

who are you? well, first off, welcome, second you should create your profile. I really like the words you used here, I can now add them to my vocabulary...LOL I by no means am a literary expert or a seasoned writer, I write from the heart, on the drop of a dime, so any upper level of critique you receive will not come from me, other than if I feel your write can reach deep inside (and like I told a great friend) "bitch slap my soul." This write of yours is good and yes I can feel the words "inside." Look forward to your writes. Sincerely, Mark

love that name.. sturdy and true.. like Emma.. Welcome to Neopoet... glad to have you posting.. this is quite good.. the beginning of each sentence was in caps.. a little distracting when it is completing a thought.. but I'll tell you.. I loved the poem...and again let me welcome you to Neo.. hope you like it here.. Richard

that is what this site is all about... honest feedback.. we all want to improve our chosen craft... I am glad you are getting over your apprehensions about sharing your voice... I think you'll do well here... thanks again Richard

for the most part; a good verbal representation of Debussy. The way you've strung the lines together also reminds me of Debussy - that flowing quality. For me, the 3rd stanza falls a little flat. The rest of the poem is so experiential while that stanza seems more analytical. As a side note, I wish you'd reconsider "do not critique mechanics." There are some easily fixed errors that detract from an otherwise lovely poem. Enjoyable.

Ellie…… This is a remarkable write. From the first few words I was curious to read the rest………....like a child peaking into closets..…through the dark, behind the clothes. I feel privileged to have read it.

fragments. I.e., "The reveal," "Ebb & flow." And the line breaks. They add punch. In just the right amount. Question: Do you mean darkened versus darken? Overall it has a nicely meditative quality. Slightly surreal. Ethereal. Delicate. As an appreciated/memorable affair might/ought to be. I think. How odd that we tend to go through our lives as though they're not affairs. When that's much of what is. What transpires. What occurs. What happens. Welcome here. Yours, Chuck

I like classical, but am more into the thunder and lightning of Tchaikovsky and Chopin. After reading this, I may go have another listen - might get a better sense of appreciation for the "softer" composers. My only suggestion: replace the & with the word 'and' - I know, it's a nitpick, but it's one of the few things that are able to bother me in writing.... LOL! Welcome to Neo - I see some of the 'greats' have visited your work! Mark is a pretty heartfelt individual, and writes amazing stuff. Moonie, Arrow, and Atticus are good with some stunning stuff. Chuck (Barbsdad) will make you bust out the dictionary, but he's famous with his play on words. I think you'll enjoy the site, and hope you do! Congrats on Evolution. ~Jess ---------------------------------------------------- "Live every day as if it were your last; one day you'll be right...."

I liked the rhythm of this poem. Enjoyed reading

Ellie, I thought this to be quite lovely. Agree with Arrow here on the third stanza. either way, nicely written "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

The last stanza: Start- let it split you open, release the untapped pilgrim soul to rest awhile. especially the words "pilgrim soul" really got to me. Great write. Leonard

The last stanza: Start- let it split you open, release the untapped pilgrim soul to rest awhile. especially the words "pilgrim soul" really got to me. Great write. Leonard

Play it softly. Play it over and over like perpetual motion finding it’s rhythm. Ebb and flow. Like the moon, wax and wane. I liked these lines especially. A very well written poem - just one suggestion, and please feel free to ignore if you disagree - 'half' seemed to be a little overdone to me on that second stanza - I wonder if it could be improved a little -I can't at this stage think of a alternative - see what you think. Apart from that this was a really enjoyable read - and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Cheers Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Came back to read this again, just can't get "You Had Me At Debussy' off my mind! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers