Eyes Wide Awake (I Thought), I Walked--Right into It

Eyes Wide Awake (I Thought),
I Walked---Right into It

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"I don't mind him just thinking,"
said Mrs. Brown, with a worried
expression on her face. "It's
when he actually thinks of
something that the trouble starts."
                                                ---Bond
---------

"I like my poetry," I said.

"OK. You like your poetry," she
Echoed expectantly
While standing at the front door,
Her right hand resting at its knob.
"Anything else you like?"

I hesitated. "Well, maybe sand vb.
You know, sand volleyball."

"Anything else?" she asked again,
Now even more expectantly.

"Nothing more than that, not really."

"So what don't you like?"

"Let me think a moment," I said.

Not wanting to report a tedious
Mishmash of items, I considered
Opting for just the top two or three
That'd make such a list.

"So?" she queried.

"So? What?"

"Did you hear my question?"

"Oh, yeah. I was just thinking that ---

Oh, never mind. I do have my string
Of things in mind now. I think, that is."

"OK. Shoot."

"Well, for one I don't like feeling
Hungry after eating. But my diabetes,
Of course as you know, forces me
To limit calories."

"OK. So that's one."

"I don't like the price of gas at the --- "

"Hold on a sec. My question was all
About personal. I thought." She paused.
"Gas price, huh? A little distant
From you personally. Especially as far
As your feelings go; am I not right?"

"OK. I think now I can see what you're
Getting at. That'll cut my list down.
A lot. Way down, to be honest. Way,
Way down.

So where were we?"

"You mentioned one --- "

"Oh, yeah. Now I remember.

Did I mention flying?"

"Flying?"

"Yeah, flying. You know, like going
To the airport, parking, taking
The shuttle to the terminal, waiting
In line, plodding through security
Check that everybody knows is pretty
Much for show; then more waiting,
Then the long line for boarding;
Then more waiting. Then --- "

"OK, OK. I know all that. Perhaps
We can talk about something else."

"Wait a minute. I'm still responding
To your question. Haven't finished
Yet."

"Oh, uh, OK. But just stay away
From the universal stuff. You know,
The stuff that's true for practically
Everybody. If you don't, we'll be
On that! subject all day. And to be
Blunt about it, I do have places
To go, things to do."

Her lips served sufficient notice;
They pursed between her sentences.

"Sorry," I said. "How insensitive
Of me."

"Well, if you're being sarcastic,
This conversation's over. Right now."

"Sorry. Yes, that was sarcastic."

"OK. I'm off to the wars, then.
See ya later. Maybe when we can talk
About something more interesting ...
And surely more personal."

And with that she left. Walked
Right out the door headed who knows
Where.

Just left me standing there wiping
Off my bifocals.