Baby's First Day of School has been selected for publication @ Triond.com

Baby's First Day of School
Has been selected for publication @Triond.com

http://authspot.com/poetry/babys-first-day-of-school/

A thought by Sinbad the Sailor Man

— Sinbadthesailorman, Aug 06, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S. A. Indiana, Valparaiso, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Carl Sandburg these I have read some And so Many More. I have no Favorite or any that I dislike. Whom I consider to be poets; of course there are many Dark and hateful souls, who would cry out and to I will lend an ear, but some. They just leave a awful taste in my heart that I can not bear to read twice. Let alone as many times I would do normally; as I must.

Critiques

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

The end was too heavy for my taste

but I really liked the beginning. I thought you did an excellent job of recapturing the first day of school excitement with your concrete images. I remember how insanely excited I was about my pencil case! You also did a good job of clearly and poignantly describing the goodbye with mom and dad with the dialogue. I probably would have stopped after line 18, though.

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 10 months ago

I have completed it now

Please give it another read and see what you think Donnie/Sinbad I have a differnt ending but to dark it was so I went with this plus it would be much longer and I know some prefer the shorter ones

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I like poems that tell a story.

Don't stop writing them. This ending works better for me. I guess I'm just born to be mild. --Arrow

Rett

17 years 10 months ago

Fine write Donnie

Captured it all, but that ending is rough on an old man with a weak heart. Thought it was gonna jump out of my chest. That is the mark of a good one, that captures a person that deeply. There are a few grammatical errors, but I don't think I can handle it right now. Whew! Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby!" Rett 2008.

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

Thank you Kind Sir

Yes,using the berry's computers, is a little limiting some times, they are older and slower but, they are free. They also limit you to 60min. and then 15min. extension, up to 240 min. per day. Anyone can bump in during your extended time so on certain days I get bumped, or lose the connection, which really sucks, When I am working out of my head, instead of my notes. For I have short term memory problems, from many years of taking pain med.s not everyone seems to like these comtempary endings.Though I like to do happy, it is so hard to sell happy, to anyone but, we few dreamers, one day maybe. Just not today. Donnie/ Sinbad I'll try putting in a *warning* sign next time, wouldn't want to lose ya. Lol