UNLESS LIKE A CHILD

Other than 3 things I think this is a pretty decent poem. Here are some suggestions. Lose the all caps for easier reading. Lose the bold unless used sparingly and don't use text mail or chatroom shortcuts on poetry. Other than these 3 little items I enjoyed the write. Please don't take this as an attack as it is just meant to help. Respectfully, Rett: "On life; Ah such a wondrous thing, beauty and love to behold and experience! On death; I can wait to see..." Rett 2008.

some kind of puzzle, but great.. best wishes Wonder.

So many have told me just to clear my mind Do not define yourself by your mistakes made in time Moreover, let go of the pass For a way to be free, a clock of time will not ask Yes I give more to my mistake Is that fair to ask of a soul to take This has to be something that I need This has to be the way my heart is freed The freedom of peace is the end that I see Not to embrace with the pain or mistakes for which is no key Its hurts me to decide If a love that I love is no longer by my side In my tears I taste A flavor of life that all thing must change

I will live in this point in time Without words of gold in someone eases mind Their words of gold are not free There are the links in a chain I cannot see Some parts of this chain was it made by me Some parts of this chain will I ever have a key Some parts of this chain ask for trust as a fee Will the end ever be my choice and left up to me

Keep your mind sane in the ways that you choose And way he is back and froth should be more than a clue You have been given with all you need to know If the pain in your heart is a pain that you need to show This is a waste of your soul you probably think you can change him As if a new love will unfold It is what it is

i like this it has something too ponder on

this poem is short but very loaded with many meaning. thanks for sharing it. chumfin