No more Love Letters

When I was falling and falling hard
And I saw you by my side
I thought that you were there for me
But you were just along for the ride
It isn't that you played my game
It's not that I played yours
But what I thought was happening
Was not what had occured

We both were on a different page
We were not in harmony
From now on I'll just act my age
I'll be just fine you'll see
I hope I caught myself in time
And I didn't act like a fool
Cause girl to tell the honest truth
I was not that into you

The whole time you were testing me
That much I know is true
The rules that I was playing by
Did not apply for you
I'll write no more love letters
I'll write no more love songs
You and I will drift apart
And I'll just move along

I'll write no more love letters
I know now I was wrong
When I was going overboard
You were just going along

— Edevold, Aug 02, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Darya

17 years 10 months ago

I like the title your

I like the title your language was polite : ) you rhyme i did not like the theme much but may be that's me I like the begining but not the ending...you may need to work on the ending I do not see much logic :) but again love has no logic ..... now again where one goes to rate the poet.....this is well written and i want to give some star to it but i am new here and i do not know how :)

Edevold

17 years 10 months ago

The logic of attraction

Hi, I was getting at the idea that the guy was maybe being a too nice guy, (kind of A wuss), and misinterpreted the girls interest as attraction/ emotional involvement, when maybe she was just looking to have fun.(nothing wrong with that) And the guy realizes somewhat that if he had just focused on having fun instead of seeing love right away and falling for the chick, the whole scenario might have had a better outcome. But he also doesn't quite get it either, and is a bit bitter. does that make any sense???? thanks for your comments, did you figure out the voting system? Click a star on the row of stars to the right. does that make any sense??????

Linda Moses

17 years 10 months ago

HI

I am going to print this one, and give it to my grandson, who has had his first heart break He writes poetry, too when I can get him to do it

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I think this will work well as a song

The repetition of the lines, "I'll write no more love letters . . ." is a nice refrain. As I poem, I'd split it up a little more, like: When I was falling and falling hard, I saw you by my side. So, I thought that you were there for me but you just needed a ride. It's not that you played my game; It’s not that I played yours. But what I thought was happening, was not what had occured. (I took a few liberties with the flow, too - hope you don't mind.) Generally, it flows well, esp. Stanza 2. My preference would be to see you switch lines 7 & 8 with 14-16, just to see you leave on a strong note. Enjoyable.

Edevold

17 years 10 months ago

thanks for the input

Thanks for the input, I switched the lines like you said, and I like it better. Thanks Alot!!!!

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

Glad you found it helpful.

P.S. I also liked your poem about junk. It reminded me of the town I grew up in, which had a store (a word I use loosely since it was an old barn) called "Antiques and Junk - You Decide." Look forward to reading some more of your work.

amalzamani

17 years 10 months ago

very well expressed

...I agree with Arrow regarding splitting the lines...I was going to say the same thing. It has excellent flow and carries a true voice with a bit of bitterness. Well done!

Edevold

17 years 10 months ago

you are both correct

I was trying to hyphenate the lines for continuity, but it reads much better split up in a more traditional form. And I swapped the lines as recommended by Arrow, and I like the flow of the idea better, and It finishes better too. It was bothering me a bit, because the thoughts seemed a little disorganized, and it's better now. Thanks, You guys are great!!!!! Mark

Rett

17 years 10 months ago

Mark

I would make one more suggestion they didn't. I like the poem a lot, but I think you could delete the last four lines and let "And I'll just move along" end the poem. It leaves it at a good spot and although the last four lines are good, they are not really needed to complete the poem. This is a great write and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, especially since I write almost exclusively in rhyme. I have to give you a 5/5 for this. Rett: "On life; Ah such a wondrous thing, beauty and love to behold and experience! On death; I can wait to see..." Rett 2008.

weirdelf

17 years 10 months ago

Too personal

it is a letter, not a poem. Poetry is generousity, insight, may other things. This poem is just for her, and though some people might relate, it doesn;t make the standard of poetry. Well written and personal, too egocenticly personal. cheers, Jess