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Emptiness

"It's because of all this emptiness, isn't it?" she asked the man
with the golden smile.

"It's because we're so perfectly human and we aren't beautiful
statues and  we sometimes cherish ugly thoughts and feelings and
our fascination with desires and aversions is a tango
along the loneliest road to all our hells, and more often than not,
we don't know which is which, isn't that so?" she asked the man
with the golden smile.

"It's because the sky is so perfectly blue
and the rain falls with rainbows sometimes,
and the tongue craves something bittersweet,
Habanero peppers, iced coffee in the jasmine summer
or hot chocolate in the cold silent night
something intoxicating with lemons or limes,
perfect red ripe mangoes,
a prayer of hope, or a white powdery line
to make us forget the awful truth, that only the skin
begs for comfort and love."
she said in her best matter-of-fact dress.

She cut the silver cord and the Buddha smiled.


— Kailashana, Aug 02, 2008

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Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 10 months ago

ordinarly i don’t use a

ordinarly i don't use a word twice let alone 3 times. how does perfect(ly) work? or not? revise? yes/no/maybe so? Thanks.
A

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I made my list of comments

before reading yours and one I had was that "perfect" appeared too often, so I vote for revision. Now, let me talk about all the things I loved: *the image of doing the tango with aversion/desire. I think that captures perfectly how entangled we are with those concepts and how easily one can stumble/fall in that dance. *the images you use to emphasize how people always want opposite things simultaneously: hot chocolate in the cold, iced coffee in the summer, etc. *the repetition of the golden Buddha smiling, highlighting the eternal bliss. My only other suggestion might be to make the section starting with intoxicating lemon and limes and ending with the woman in her dress a separate stanza because it seems to be addressing another issue - the one of avoidance. Enjoyed it immensely and learned something too! (I had to look up the silver cord.)
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Arrow, Sorry. You lost

Hi Arrow, Sorry. You lost to Richard. lol. I'll take your stanza change though. Smiles and hugs, A. ok I lied. the first 3 stanzas start with "It's because".
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 10 months ago

Emptiness

I loved the flow of this piece. I'm too new to make suggestions, I just know what I like, and this is it
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Anna...

I wouldn't change anything... cause ain't we just perfectly human... and sometimes the sky is a perfect shade of blue that makes one fill their glass of life... nah.. my vote is to not change it... because I think it is perfectly fine.. Richard
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Well then...

let me just add that the other day I had a perfect plum, at times they are good but in this bunch was a couple of perfect ones... and I got one of em... uuummmm.. thanks Richard
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Oh yea...

forgot to mention the silver cord... I had to look it up also. It fit so well with your poem... Richard
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 10 months ago

Sometimes *it* does come

Sometimes *it* does come together quite perfectly. Now if only we could *fix* the world. lol. It's about as good as it gets with ....what..... the talking heads who wouldn't know an unselfish bone in their body if it was broken in two. But don't get me started. I'd have to create an *us* and *them* and then I'm just like everyone else. ;-) ~A
Rett

Rett

17 years 10 months ago

Anna

This is a wonderful read. I enjoyed it immensely. Respectfully, Rett: "On life; Ah such a wondrous thing, beauty and love to behold and experience! On death; I can wait to see..." Rett 2008.
O

Orphani

16 years 4 months ago

Strengthen your hands with

Strengthen your hands with hope lest they grow weary. This is another beautiful work of art very effective. Love B