Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

On Your knees

Make a move
destroy a thought
open a door
see through the lense
everything ends
when the man in cloth
says "amen"

(C)2008.Lenny Gazbowski
— Lenny of Cohen, Jul 24, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Critiques

A

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I read this several times

to try and decide which of two contradictory images you meant. First, I read it as the title suggested, as the drop to your knees in prayer, where one's personal thoughts and wishes are subjugated to and seen through God's Will or lens - Amen/So be it! Then, I read it as the getting up from prayer, the "Amen" that ends the service, when people file out the door, the light of the world is no longer blocked by a stained-glass lens and the religious experience ends (for some people anyway). Finally, I decided that the real magic of the poem is that it shifts between these two images, much as faith often does. Very good. Only suggestion is for the word "lense" - "lens"?
LC

Lenny of Cohen

17 years 10 months ago

Appreciated

your comments,and how you read the poem from different angles.Sometimes I use religious imagery to put a metaphysical point across,its a habit of mine!As for spelling,lens or lense is a word you can spell two ways;I may use your suggestion though! I find the beauty of poetry is that each reader of the poem interprets it in their own unique way. Lnny