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t. reflexion
t. reflexion
Jul 23, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

IF I MAY ASK

IF I MAY ASK Out thereIn the fieldsWhen farmer’s hoeLabors into harvestWhich roots were separated from the seeds? Out thereIn the seasWhere fish and man communeIn boiling pots for excrementWhat conferences of eating mouths? Out thereIn lifeHere and far beyondWhen breathing nostrils stop.What have we left to show that men were once here?
— t. reflexion, Jul 23, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: NGA

Favorite Poets: Inspired by an article in an old manuscript , It reads:, AXIOMS OF PERFECTION, In the physical order – In the realization of the dream of beauty, In the moral order – In the realization of the dream of love, In the intellectual order – In the realization of dream of poetry, In the spiritual order – In the realization of the dream of the mystics

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Critiques

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

this was good

Smiles:) Barbara I enjoyed reading this, but stanza 2 kinda puzzled me. where man and fish commune in boiling pot of excrement? don't think i wanna be there. intriguing poem.
A

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I'm having some trouble with this one.

I don't quite understand the question in stanza two. Maybe, it is a language barrier for me. I wonder if stanza 3 might read a little better if it were more consistent with the first two, e.g., Out there In the beyond Where human breath does not exist I really like the expansion of space you've depicted by moving from the field, to the sea, to the beyond. It reminds me of expanding ripples in a pool. The first stanza is wonderful. I think it could stand alone. Although, should the last line be in the future? When the farmer's hoe labors, which roots WILL BE separated from the seeds, maybe?
t. reflexion

t. reflexion

17 years 10 months ago

Out There

Barbara, Thank you for the reading. It reflects a cycle where a fisherman stayed for days in turbulent sea. He caught a fish, cooked and ate it to survive. Later on, he passed the excrement into the sea, another fish rushed in and took it for a meal. You can see the conference of mouths. Not funny. Arrow, Thanks you for the observations. I will change 'were' to 'will be' . 'Out there' seems a litte lopsided if we look at this incarnation alone without our spiritual dimensions as totality of 'life' for a traveller who started somewhere and is heading somewhere. Your point is noted. I will look at it again, may be I did not quite capture what I want to say. You observation has made me to see a new perspective. Thanks