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Jul 18, 2008
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trees
elegant trees
sway in the breeze
I wish them luck;
they wait for ... bees
(My fingers crossed,
I hoped someone
might see the sadness
in this piece.
Kudos to moonman,
who got it.
Ah, well, I'd've just
continued editing from
day to day till my larger
meaning came as
plain as long noses
on short faces.
Next rendition would've
read:
elegant trees
sway in the breeze
I wish them luck:
they wait acute
in vain for ... bees)
— barbsdad2003, Jul 18, 2008
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Critiques
Kailashana
17 years 10 months ago
bees buzzing with the weight
autumnphoenix
17 years 10 months ago
I like the simplicity of
Rett
17 years 10 months ago
Nicely done
RSScheerer
17 years 10 months ago
trees
barbsdad2003
17 years 10 months ago
I daresay ...
RSScheerer
17 years 10 months ago
due to weight
Barbara Writes
17 years 10 months ago
A tree song
themoonman
17 years 10 months ago
Hi Chuck...
barbsdad2003
17 years 10 months ago
Yes!
Sinbadthesailorman
17 years 10 months ago
Just on way up here to the Berrie
barbsdad2003
17 years 10 months ago
Thanx, sinb ...