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A
Alobar
Jul 10, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Friend

I’m here as you age
As you walk into older
I offer my strength
I’m beside your shoulder
I bring you water
I sing to your dreams
I’ll tell your story
You return to the streams
I’ll then wash your body
And fold you to sleep
Bring you finally home
To eternal keep.

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Country/Region: CAN

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Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 10 months ago

This is good

Smiles:) Barbara and fold you to sleep, not sure this line flow with your theme. otherwise this is good
A

Alobar

17 years 10 months ago

See my comment below on that

See my comment below on that line. Does it make more sense now? Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)
P

pinksheep

17 years 10 months ago

This

miniature poem read smooth, it is clever and is an extremely grand miniature-I like the line fold you to sleep I like every line-My regards
A

Alobar

17 years 10 months ago

Nods quietly.

Nods quietly. Thanks. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)
A

Arrow

17 years 10 months ago

I'm not sure about that "fold you to sleep"

line, either but don't care much because, overall, I really like this poem. I esp. like how you used "older" as a noun. Sure enough, "older" seems like a different place than "youth". Just one thought - "When" at the start of line 8? Great!
A

Alobar

17 years 10 months ago

“Fold you to sleep”

"Fold you to sleep" refers to putting my friend in his coffin. This is not a "what I'm going to do" poem, it is a "what I did" one, thus "When" would is not the correct word for line 8. Thanks for reading. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Hi Alobar...

we all want a friend like that... one who will keep us forever. fold you to sleep... I took it to mean you would fold his/her memory and keep it close to you while you slept.. short poem with powerful impact.. enjoyed reading and thinking about all this means... Richard
A

Alobar

17 years 10 months ago

Interesting to see what

Interesting to see what different meanings, if only subtly, different people take from words. (See above comment for explanation of "Fold you to sleep"). Glad you liked, thanks, as always, for commenting. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)