The Razor's Edge

Technically it isn't bad. Good visuals in the poem. Kind of a dreary, dark subject. I have a personal aversion to suicide, but all in all I liked it. If you want a little more discussion on it pm me. Good start. Rett: It may look easy, when you look at me, But it took years of effort, to become the mess that you see John Fogerty

Technically sound writing subject matter however is not my choice and neither should it be yours. There are better ways I join Rett in extending myself to you Chrystalie

but can see how other readers would get that impression. The problem is in the last stanza, which seems to at least threaten suicide. Isn't it about how sometimes physical pain is preferable to the pain within? And the last stanza abut putting it off till next time the rivers of pain run deep? Correct me if I'm wrong. Still not a poem about sunlight on daffodils, but an important one that needed to be written and needs to be read. A bit of an edit would make it clearer, especially that last stanza, cheers, Jess

great poem its what happens poets and normal non poets do this sometimes ending their lives too came close so many ways myself but still here cutters its scary but its real I have to go and cook myself dinner now Pixee but I love this poem because its about real feelings about what happens sometimes to some people

Like I said in chat, the subject matter is sensitive to many. Many attack the poem to justify their objection to what they may not understand. But either good or bad, you have touched both by what you have written, which means your poem has done its job. Don't change "you" because of "them". Listen to all constructive critism and learn from it to make yourself a better writer. Take from it what you need, but always be true to yourself. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Its not about suicide its about feeling cutting makes one feel focuses the pain on something outside the internalized pain from external forces some people in the world avoid this and just dump on others Human nature at its horrid blood horrifies people drives some away those that hurt Its a power to feel on top of the "feeling" feeling its addictive too I've been told and the healing the slow dispersal of the scars is something like badges collected until a new ritual begins its true unhappiness I understand it It took me a long time to know how to use a computer too Computers are made by people who love them so they build them for people who want to love them to get to know how to use them its a slow relationship though Like dating first kiss First hug etc Now I know what I am doing and glad for this but I would sit frustrated that I would cry because I didnt get it I just hung in there and asked and learned slowly Neo is the icing on the cake too I love it here Chats are the best no other place seems to have the empathy or patience glad you are here Pixee