Epigram 2 - of a fisherman

All I can say here is interesting something about the first line is not sitting right and I cannot put my finger on it perhaps it is the wording Chrystalie

a poignant epigram. The death of the golden fish, the fisheman's need. Perhaps net for mesh? Or the death in the net of the golden fish was the fisherman's only wish. But I prefer the original. Don't change it unless these suggestions inspire something better. cheers, Jess

As usual for you, this piece says much with few words. Impressive feat. Don't think you need the comma after "tank"; it makes an unnecessary break. Or should I say muddies the flow a bit. Glad for your explanatory comment. I at first assumed "tank" referred to where food fish are kept/stored until they can be taken to shore---or factory boat---for "processing." Too bad "tank" can hold various meanings in this context. (For example, it can also refer to: well, sump, vessel, receptacle, aquarium, bowl.) Anyway, your explanation filters the figurative seawater well, making your intention now clearly evident. Yours, Chuck

I like this. I like it because it is loaded with intellectual intent. I did not know what the "golden fish" represented. Yay, I learned something new. I did not see a difference between the revisions. Perhaps it is a moot point. I find myself wanting the word "fuel" before the word "tank" due to the confusion with tanks that fishermen store fish in after they are caught. This led me to believe the fisherman was not wise at all. That he had this golden fish and could only think of filling the boats fish tank to the brim and making money off its flesh. I now see that this is a tipped-hat, thumbs-up, praise piece about a very wise in your eyes man. A man who only wishes for a direct need. A man that has no time to dream because of his current scenario. Or no time to dream because his stomach and heart care only about getting home to a meal and his attachment to familiar beings. -Daniel