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Kailashana
Kailashana
Jun 17, 2008 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Mostly I Am Lonely Just Before It Rains

~We were solitary whales once
oceans ago
weeping ~

Mostly
I am lonely
just before it rains
just before the sky and I
are so saturated
we must break open
like fireflies
in a child's small, curious hands,

pouring

as if there is no tomorrow
no ark
no two by two

drowning

wondering
how we can save each other
from all that rain.
— Kailashana, Jun 17, 2008
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Critiques

R

Rolwright

18 years 1 month ago

What a unique outlook

What a unfamiliar perspective of your feelings all I know is I couldn't have been a whale but maybe a dolphin if I had to be any water based animal.Another brilliant picture.I wish I had another set of hands so I could give this poem four thumbs up. Peace Rolwright
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years 1 month ago

Four thumbs up? Wow!

Four thumbs up? Wow! Rolwright, dolphins are joyous creatures, they are not solitary. (I have many dolphin poems.) Ever hear a whale song? They echo through all that water seeking their mates... it's mournful haunting and beautiful... (You're in for a treat if you never have.) http://www.new-brunswick.net/new-brunswick/whales/avi.html Love. Anna
D

DeprivedofReason

18 years 1 month ago

Drowned in the depths of this imagery..

Solitary whales ...once ..oceans ago. . . How utterly lovely! I'm enamored with this tale of aching yearning. "just before the sky and I are so saturated we must break open like fireflies in a child’s small, curious hands, pouring as if there is no tomorrow " Bravo... a woeful delight. <3
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years 1 month ago

Yes. We are all so

Yes. We are all so enamored, aren't we? Woeful delight and I have been bedmates for a long long time. ;-) Been meaning to tell you what a wonderful artistic picture of you. ~Anna
professor

professor

18 years 1 month ago

A call echoing across the vast ocean deep....

I guess there are so great whale poems as well as songs Anna but your words put me in mind of similar sentiments expressed by my favourite poet, Yeats about wild swans. I am sure you will have read it but is always moves me when I do, especially the last verse. Keith: The Wild Swans at Coole...W.B. Yeats THE trees are in their autumn beauty, The woodland paths are dry, Under the October twilight the water Mirrors a still sky; Upon the brimming water among the stones Are nine-and-fifty Swans. The nineteenth autumn has come upon me Since I first made my count; I saw, before I had well finished, All suddenly mount And scatter wheeling in great broken rings Upon their clamorous wings. I have looked upon those brilliant creatures, And now my heart is sore. All's changed since I, hearing at twilight, The first time on this shore, The bell-beat of their wings above my head, Trod with a lighter tread. Unwearied still, lover by lover, They paddle in the cold Companionable streams or climb the air; Their hearts have not grown old; Passion or conquest, wander where they will, Attend upon them still. But now they drift on the still water, Mysterious, beautiful; Among what rushes will they build, By what lake's edge or pool Delight men's eyes when I awake some day To find they have flown away?
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years 1 month ago

Swan DivePerhaps a swan

Swan Dive Perhaps a swan dive Together Into a light-filled pool Into one another's eyes, That we may traverse Time, distance and chance, remember Our swan necks, how They seem to resemble our serpent Skins, slither around a gnarled umber boaobab Tree, whisper creation in our ecstatic hiss. the 4th poem in a series of poems I wrote one day February 10, 2006.
D

DeprivedofReason

18 years 1 month ago

I'm teetering with Delight...

... what an ability to paint with the beauty of nature's creations, and draw upon them the resonance of love's purity exemplified upon their being!! Another lovely delight you've shared! ^_^ The repetition of swan dive in the first 2 lines is a bit awkward, I don't know if it was intentional "Swan Dive Perhaps a swan dive together" Other than that... I enjoyed the imagery to the finish! <3
Kailashana

Kailashana

18 years 1 month ago

Thank you DoR, glad you

Thank you DoR, glad you enjoyed... and thanks for the opportunity to explain that the first "Swan Dive" is just the title.... to the rest of the poem. I just noticed I spelled baobab incorrectly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baobab ~anna "Swan Dive" Perhaps a swan dive Together Into a light-filled pool Into one another’s eyes, That we may traverse Time, distance and chance, remember Our swan necks, how They seem to resemble our serpent Skins, slither around a gnarled umber baobab Tree, whisper creation in our ecstatic hiss.
A

Arrow

18 years 1 month ago

Well, I can only speculate

Well, I can only speculate about whales, dolphins and swans but I do know about losing loved ones. I loved the poem -- accessible, restrained ( no easy feat, given the theme) and moving. Thanks.

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