weirdelf

Jun 17, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Faux Mort

While idly ruminating on the nature of death,
contemplating my final breath
I gave myself a start,
it was not a breath,
it was a fart.
Full of deadly meth-
ane

— weirdelf, Jun 17, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

Nilmini

17 years 11 months ago

This is Hilarious

Jess, you take the responsibility if I die in this laughing fit! This is very funny. I only wonder why you broke the word 'methane'into two & sent a portion of it to the last line. May I know the meaning of the title, too? CHEERS, Nilmini

weirdelf

17 years 11 months ago

I broke methane up

for the rhyme, death, breath, meth faux mort is (probably incorrect) French for false death, also a vague pun on the more common expression faux pas meaning false step but used to allude to an embarrassing mistake. cheers, Jess

poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

Jess

Geez you are sick the boy Chrystalie

weirdelf

17 years 11 months ago

methane

I like to add a last line that makes the poem even more rediculous cheers, Jess

DarkinAZ

17 years 11 months ago

This is funny,

it proves there is nothing that can not be written about and appreciated. Sincerely, Mark

frangipangi

17 years 11 months ago

laughing,laughing and laughing some more!

Your so clever and a bit naughty. The little boy in you perhaps? I love it Weirdelf. More! more! Maybe some booger smearing under the table! I'm laughing at my own disgust. Life is so real Yours, FrangiPangi

frangipangi

17 years 11 months ago

oh yeah

And the title, PRICELESS!! LITERARY GENIUS YOU ARE! Fran

rider68

17 years 11 months ago

Just when i think that's as far as you go?

You come back with some thing more....So Funny, So the question is where next, Jess did you post this, with a straight face?...I would have been falling about. Very Best Regards Peter... ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

Frost Smith

17 years 11 months ago

weirdelf...

You pulled off death & flatulence in the same poem; interesting, perhaps you could try to mix cocaine & drop bears, LOL :) Frost

weirdelf

17 years 11 months ago

drop bears on cocaine!

Crikey, that is just too scary to contemplate, I would rather take acid during a plane crash. cheers, Jess

anaxor

17 years 11 months ago

:)

ROFL (and no other comment) :)

Rett

17 years 11 months ago

ROTFLMAO

Now, this was truly a gas! Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

Barbara Writes

17 years 11 months ago

noone like you

Smiles:) Barbara fart poem, didn't think it could be done and be good poetry. disgustingly good writing. being admitted to the hospital tomorrow at 10 am for testing on my thyroid tumor. as well as my daughter at same time for consultation for biopsy on knots in her head and neck and female problems. so retiring know try to sleep. Had to read you, before shutting down for the night Great poets can make anything a great poem. and you fit the mold

DarkinAZ

17 years 11 months ago

I wish you both

The best of luck, you will be in my prayers. Your friend, Mark

weirdelf

17 years 11 months ago

My thoughts and prayers with you too,

all the best, cheers, Jess

RSScheerer

17 years 11 months ago

You posted it!

I see we both surrendered and posted - goat is lurking around these pages somewhere, along with a link to my video from that night. How embarrassing! Only you could pull this one off, though. Stay away from open flames, friend! ;) my best, Ronda

Quillsvein1

17 years 11 months ago

haha!

the beginning of this poem brought me back to my own constant ruminations on these things, which are quite useless and morbid, so i was very glad you broke open and let some wind come in the stifling atmosphere. :-) awesome!

themoonman

17 years 11 months ago

acid during a plane crash...

what a way to go huh...Your poem has me laughing right out loud. enjoyed the laugh and the read... Richard

GreenBean

17 years 11 months ago

Gives new meaning to “what

Gives new meaning to "what goes around, comes around!" That ought ta teach ya not to let yourself be idly ruminating! (watch out for the broccoli) I think what you experienced is called Rigor-Fartus... a momentary lapse of life due to idle rumination. You are a funny one, Jess! Kim (GreenBean)

infinite_dwarf

17 years 11 months ago

lmao

"I think what you experienced is called Rigor-Fartus… a momentary lapse of life due to idle rumination" - omg, I just choked on my tea. Very witty there, Kim! Jess, you pulled this off nicely. I think you're one of those type people that would be able to frost a turd and be able to sell it as a delicacy. *shakes head in wonder* Truly a hilarious write. ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine!"

Poetic Fluffer

17 years 11 months ago

too good

Lol. I like the fact that you do not take this whole poetry "thing" so seriously, yet in it's black-comedy, this poem does have it's message... if not to be pondered or discussed, but scents it's presence, heheh... Death does stink don't it? great piece, Elf. ~~Pfluffer.

Mark

17 years 11 months ago

LMFAO

I hope you are recovering well because I aint seen ya in a day or so ya old bag o methane :P oops that would include me ...