Sonnet 8

Smiles:) Barbara I barely hear those noises from behind, When opened are the gates of elder dream; The moon I reached was not that hard to find In treasure of the night that’s now supreme. My simple voice cannot reveal the truth Of blades and flesh in ordinary space, But let me glance at them with eyes of youth And be a star to whom you can replace A skin of olden race. Mistakes you’ve done Will stick upon your mouth like seven thorns, Because one life means more than some cheap fun, And guns are weak in front of greasy horns. No matter what you do, remember this: The silence jumps from madness to abyss. Great, I wouldn't change a thing, but have some suggestions. If you put spaces where I have them here I think it will make reading easier. This is great writing and I enjoyed reading. Not use to sonnet will research more so I can critique better.

Smiles:) Barbara I have been thinking about sonnets for a little while now. You inspire me to go online and research. I like this style though was hard to grasp at first, but I think I got it. will post my first sonnet 1 tonight "Love" After my research this is good. One thought though. I was looking for the question, but then I only followed one sonnet, when I wrote mine, so maybe it is not the only way to write it. I like your image is great and it flows perfectly.

If nothing else, you have definitely taught me to love the sonnet once again! Your words are strong throughout. The weakest line I see is "Because one life means more than some cheap fun" Somehow "cheap fun" doesn't fit the tone of the poem. Other than this one thing, the piece is wonderful as is. Best, Ronda

Smiles:) Barbara It is a great read and I still enjoy reading again and again.

This poem definitely has teeth to it. Gave me the willies. "A skin of olden race. Mistakes you’ve done Will stick upon your mouth like seven thorns" - excellent line, and I'm curious as to why the number 7 specifically... ~Jess K. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "He wear no shoeshine, he got toe-jam football He got monkey finger, he shoot coca-cola He say "I know you, you know me" One thing I can tell you is you got to be free Come together right now over me." - The Beatles

Sonnet 8 This is fantastic, utter beauty Thank you, once again, for sharing your gems with us! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers