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IKnowNoBox
Jun 14, 2008 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

From These Walls, to The Pews

nothing but long promises dragged out
down coarse driveways
such a fine family it appeared to be
father, pillar of society
mother, faithful denier
child, recipient of hells damnation
here on earth

cute like curdled stepped in vomit
down a bedroom wall
dressed in Sundays britches
Padre, pillar of his order
Mary, faithful saint
child, receiver of hells promise
in the here after

back to a gross ultimate reality
into a dreary house
decorate to appease only visitors
wife, enabler of horror
Pops, hand of enforcement
child, preys something not so divine
just for a moment


— IKnowNoBox, Jun 14, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

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Critiques

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purplemoondoll

18 years 1 month ago

Absolutely brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant. Powerful. As I read I heard the preacher's voice in my head - the rhythm really helps to achieve this. So much packed into such a short poem. I think this could be developed a little further. See what you think? Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years 1 month ago

I concur

I concur with Kaz. Fire-n-brimstone. I won't point out the grammatical errors, as you are going to be running spell-check. Nice job here, David. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of,deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)
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purplemoondoll

18 years 1 month ago

Oh yes - I think you nailed

Oh yes - I think you nailed it. For me this is one of your best poems. :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 1 month ago

Thank you Kaz,

I found the extra phase in the order.. Leaving for church (as the neihboors see), at church, and after church. I read a book a biography for a bank robber, I found inspiration in that book for this, "The Man That Outgrew his Jail Cell" Loya. In ink, Dabbler
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frangipangi

18 years 1 month ago

stark

Unfornutely the stark reality of a typical, disfunctional American family. Pretty on the outside, hell's labrinyth on the real side. My lip curled as I looked on with disdain, did this remind me of something? You've capured the stink and decay without ever breaking the fake crust. Reminisent of the tv series "The Riches". Great title "From These Walls to the Pews", ( Idea: the families name is "Pew") Good fodder and Well done. Yours, Fran "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world" Robin Williams
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IKnowNoBox

18 years ago

Thank you Jess

Such a fine family the appeared to be. I suggest that book to you as well, "The man that outgrew his cell" Biography by- (last name)Loya In ink, Dabbler

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