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The Red Ghost (finished product)

Red Ghost

 

A haze rises from the south.
Covering ev’rything with its blood-red cloak.
Turning the horizon into a distortion.
My eyes start to burn.

 

The air has an almost putrid taste.
The larger wafts reduce visibility.
An occurrence so significant as to warrant caution.
Warnings which of course this red ghost will not heed.
As it continues traveling; haunting our fair state.

 

A man travels, talking to a love past.
His voice booms within the confines of plastic.
The ghost, with its dark fingers reaches out to him.
Encapsulated within the mists; the man looks around.

 

He is blind, and scared.
He misjudges the illusions that the ghost puts forth - and swerves.
His screams fill the air; the ghost claims another victim.
And issuing an eerie laugh, it drifts on…

 

— infinite_dwarf, Jun 13, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

More from this author

Critiques

RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 12 months ago

The Red Ghost

I've never had to deal with fires like these, but you just put me right in the middle of one and made me hold my breath. Great, descriptive piece, Jess! ~ Ronda
O

orgami

17 years 12 months ago

the red masque

was looking at spanish paintings the ones with death riding the skinny horses and corpses all over villages on the horizon burning the black smoke bleeding into the innocence of the sky made me think about that this poem did yes fires dreadful You have painted a very ominous picture and although I have never seen anything like this I can see it well thank you for this poem
I

IKnowNoBox

17 years 12 months ago

We are dealing with fires here as well..

people should have considered control burns, now it is a hazard to them. something is missing from this .. nothing major but their is a window for a few more verses.. ofr a splitting of verses.. In ink, dabbler
P

poewriter58

17 years 12 months ago

Jess

David is correct I'd like to see this extended, you have a great start here . You have managed to capture the heart of the matter "do More" ( I know that isn't technical but I also know that you will know what that means) BTW excellent captivating title Chrystalie/Mom
P

purplemoondoll

17 years 12 months ago

Powerful imagery that placed

Powerful imagery that placed me right there engulfed by the flames and smoke. You have done a wonderful job and completely brought the scene to life. I too would love to see this developed a little more. I love the title. It captures the fear and the theme exactly. This is brilliantly written as it stands but I also sense it has the potential to become something very special. Cheers Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
R

rider68

17 years 12 months ago

Sorry Mate

I have to agree, This is a great start, embrace it, get down, get dirty with it, I can see the fire, Lets breathe it, lets fight for our very lives, C'mon give it a go and see....... I love what you have given Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~
I

IKnowNoBox

17 years 11 months ago

Here is where I see a source..

all the info after the poem, what craft would place it into the picture of the poem. I wanted to read the after thought into the poem i am sure. Mark writes with such scenic style as well. play around with verses from the stock right there.. not a major insert but a touch of horizon. In ink, dabbler
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 11 months ago

Thanks all!

Ronda - Thanks for taking the time to read! O - really glad you liked it. Interesting how you tied it to the red masque - I like it! David, Mom, Kaz, and Peter - Give me a few days to ponder this one over. I like the suggestions, and the idea of an expansion. Will fart around with it a bit, and see what I can come up with. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments! ~Jess K. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You name me, entertain Thoughts of peace can overcome anything Mirror spins; wicked tales Here lies reflections of, deceptions of...." - Overjoyed (Jars of Clay)
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 11 months ago

I like the title

and the poem on the whole for its eloquent imagery but the first three lines bowled me over. I love stuff like this - makes me want to write. Leonard
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 11 months ago

Ok Y'all....

I'm going to take this to forum, and see if I can get some help here. Have an idea of where I want to take it, but want to bounce ideas off others first. Might yank the original, and then repost once I feel it's worthy. :~) Stay tuned. Jess K. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "He wear no shoeshine, he got toe-jam football He got monkey finger, he shoot coca-cola He say "I know you, you know me" One thing I can tell you is you got to be free Come together right now over me." - The Beatles
P

poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

jess

Excellent maitenant c'est fini nice finished product Mom
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

17 years 11 months ago

Great job, Jess

I like the revisions! We do doom and gloom quite well, don't we? ;) The only line that doesn't read quite as well as the rest, and it's not even the entire line - "he looks around" I don't know why, perhaps it doesn't have the feeling of impending doom that the rest of that stanza holds. It could very well be that my mind associates "around" solely as a preposition, even though it is also an adverb. Whatever it is, it's the only place I get snagged a bit when reading. Maybe I should adjust my reception! Best, Ronda
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 11 months ago

Jess

Me thinks your portrait, a masterpiece! You brought me so into the fire, I will fear my bonfires~
Rett

Rett

17 years 11 months ago

es Muy Bueno

That is a grande improvement. I like it! adidas err adios Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 11 months ago

thanks so much!

A big thank you for all who helped to shape this little 'un here. I'm glad it turned out well. Most of my poems have been "realistic" and I thought something more paranormal and spooky would be a nice change of pace. Once again, thank you for the help in the forum, taking the time to read, and all the lovely comments! This is as much y'alls poem as anything. :~) ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine!"